Remember Your Promise
by annablossom4703
Summary: Four months after "Kur Unfurled" ended, things aren't going so well for the Saturdays. Dr. Grey has gone off the grid, and anonymous letters are claiming to lead the Saturdays to one they lost. Then things change as their world starts a cycle of rebuilding and unraveling.
1. A Long Time

Annablossom4703: Hey, Butterflies! I'm back for the sequel to _Kur Unfurled_. This is set four months after the closing events of _Kur Unfurled_ , so it is now December in the story. I've missed you all so much, and I'm so happy to be back!

Zak: AB, what will this story be about?

AB: Zak, you know I can't tell you. Anyways, here's the disclaimer. Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network. **Trigger Warning: Self harm and suicide mentioned a lot.**

Chapter 1: A Long Time

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(Lily's POV)

The sheets plaster themselves to my body. I never want to leave this bed, not for anything in the world. With it so dark outside due to it being December in Seward, Alaska, I feel my will to leave the bed diminishing each day. Besides, the only thing waiting for me outside the bed is a world of pain and suffering. After all, Dad died, Drew died, and Mom vanished, all outside of this bed. Why on earth would I want to leave a place of security in exchange for a world of hurt?

I move my arm into a more comfortable position; normally I wouldn't even be bothered it, but I can feel my arm going numb, and I need that arm for cutting. It's all my fault that everyone I have ever loved has died or has left forever, therefore I need to punished. I don't deserve to live, nor do I really want to live. I often find myself imagining the sweet effects of a bullet passing through my head or my chest, or I dream of taking a running leap off a building or the airship. I imagine that death is much like sleep, an endless sleep, but a sleep nonetheless. However, if anyone ever knew I feel this way, I would surely die. They have enough problems as is, and they don't need to be worried about me.

A heavy, moving object sits down on the bed next to me. It's Komodo, I know, since he is the only one in this house who really seems to understand what I am feeling. Sometimes I wonder how no one else bonded with him or bothered to be with him. He is understanding, and I feel bad that he chooses to spend his time with someone as pathetic as me. I sigh. Please, someone, just end this. I am so tired of this pain and this numbness. I wish it would all just go away. I wish I were back at Mom and Dad's house. I wish that all of this had never happened to me. Tears slip out of my eyes and kit the pillow with a low thud. Komodo snuggles closer to me. At least he understands what I feel.

"Lily, please get up. It's almost noon," Komodo growls lowly. I pull the covers up over my head. Komodo sighs and swats the covers off me with his tale. "Lilianna, get out of bed." It's unlike him to use my real name, so I know he's serious. I mutter my disobedience and stay lying on my stomach on the bed. Eventually, Komodo gives up and jumps off the bed. I bury my face in my pillow and breathe the hot air. I knew he wouldn't understand.

A rogue tear slips from my right eye and falls into the dent my face has made in the pillow. Another tear falls, and not long afterwards, I am crying silently. I hate this so much, and I want to get better, but this is really kicking my arse. If Argost saw me now, he'd lose his flipping mind from the rage. He'd call me pathetic, lazy, and pitiful. He'd tell me how worthless I am and that I need to get my act together or else. He'd tell me all the true things about me. Rage, I have discovered, often reveals what one truly believes, and Argost was the perfect example. I bury face further into the pillow, as if somehow it will hide me from the world. Argost had it right. I really am worthless.

"Lily, do you have a moment?" I know that sad and broken voice anywhere. It's Zak. I roll over onto my back and push myself up. Zak's face is tear stained and blotchy. His eyes are red and puffy. I move over on my bed to make room for him and pat the spot next to me. Zak climbs onto the spot and curls up. The sight is heartbreaking; I have only ever seen Zak cry a few times, but Drew's death has broken him. If this was Beeman's plan the whole time, he succeeded.

I wrap an arm around my brother and give him a comforting squeeze. Zak smiles weakly at me.

"Lily, I miss her so much. I know it's been four months, but it still stings. She was there through everything and understood my powers better than anyone else. She worked so hard to protect all of us, to cover our tracks when Beeman was chasing us, and I couldn't even do the same for her." Zak places his head on my shoulder. "And," his voice breaks, "I keep feeling like I'm wrong and that something's missing." I nod, telling Zak that I understand how he feels.

"Zak, you need to understand that Drew's not coming back."

"I know that, Lily, but I just feel like she's not really gone." Zak sighs and gets off the bed. "I'm sorry, Lily. This was a mistake." He walks over to the door. "Please get something to drink, Iris- I mean Lily. You'll get dehydrated if you don't." Zak leaves the room, and the darkness settles the room. It's a good thing Zak corrected himself; I hate being called Iris, not here, not with these people.

After a while, I get out of bed and get partially ready for the day. I barely glance at the mirror, but it's a long enough glance to show me I have lost a lot of weight. Never mind that, though; it doesn't matter. I wrap up in the bathroom and step out into the living room. I spy Zak, Doc, and the cryptids all sitting there, staring both at each other and off into space, in mournful silence. The sight reminds me of myself nine months ago. An almost tear starts to leave my eye, but I blink it away. I can't do this anymore! How easy it would be to jump from the cliff's edge and hit the water, how easy it would be to hang by a belt and be free from all this. With Drew dead, I have begun to see this world for what it is: a wicked place overflowing with greed and selfishness, and with only a rare few to save it. Even Mom left after we learned she was pregnant. She must have wanted her baby more than me. Maybe swinging by a noose is not a bad idea; it would save the world the trouble of trying to fix me.

I grab something to eat and head outside. I sit in the courtyard for a while, lost in thought. How many months pregnant is Mom? Whose child is it, Dad's or Dr. Beeman's? If it's Dad's, Mom is either near full term, or has past full term; Mom would have to have gotten pregnant before the War if it is Dad's child. Poor Mom; she has been through alot in her life, if I remember her story correctly. I can't imagine having to go through everything she has and yet becoming who she is. What I would give to be like her.

I turn my attention to the sea beyond the cliff housing the airship. I wonder what Ulraj is doing, if he ever thinks of us. The last time we saw him was the memorial service for Drew back in August. It was nothing extravagant, but it brought some closure nonetheless. That small amount of closure was ripped away when a week later, we moved into the new house. Drew would have been so happy to see it, though it lacked life. Now, four months later, it still lacks life. How might things be different if Drew hadn't died?

The sounds of a metal door closing and a car driving away snap my attention back into this world. A mail truck is driving away, so I approach the mailbox to collect its contents. In the mailbox are mostly bills, a couple junk envelopes, and two other envelopes; I pull them out and look at the recipient's name. It's mine, both of mine. Quickly and quietly, I grab the rest of the mail and take it inside. Then I grab the envelopes with my names on them and disappear into my room.

I study the envelopes carefully. One has a return address and the name Iris on it, but the other one is different. The other envelope has no return address and has Miss Iris Van Rook/ Lilianna Saturday on it. The second envelope baffles and bothers me, so I read the one with the return address on it first. It is from Munya; he is giving me an update on his life and his search for his original identity. So far, Dr. Derek Grey seems the most likely. Not much else is in the letter, and I decide I will write a reply later. Then I pick up the second envelope.

There is only a single sheet of paper in the envelope. I pull it out and unfold it, the anxiety growing. Who sent this? Why? How do they know my names? All these questions and more swirl around in my head like a violent storm. Everything goes still when I read the first line.

Dear Miss Iris Van Rook or Miss Lilianna Saturday, November 30

I wish to send my condolences to you and your family for the loss of your mother, Dr. Drew Saturday. She was a charming young woman with a generous heart. She will be much missed. I also wish to send my condolences to you for the loss of your other mother, Dr. Miranda Grey. She was such a strong young woman with deep sense of self sacrifice. I heard she was pregnant; what a shame she disappeared.

It is on that matter that I write you. Losing a mother, or in your case two mothers, is difficult for the child or children left behind, no matter their age. I understand the pain, and I may have a found a way to help you return one of your beloved mothers. Simply tell me as soon as possible, near the beginning of December, which mother you would like to return. To inform me, simply make this shape with either fire and water or earth and air.

Yours truly,

Anonymous

Underneath Anonymous's instructions is a small sketch of an object that resembles a triton. I feel like I've seen that shape before at WeirdWorld, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Then I reread the last sentence in the letter. What did Anonymous mean when xe said "either fire and water or earth and air"? I puzzle over the sentence, trying to figure out what it means. I come up with nothing.

Defeated, I leave my room and return to the living room to join the others in silence. They barely acknowledge my presence, with only Zon looking up to see who came in, but that is nothing new to me. Looking at the group makes me realize something I should probably have seen long ago. We are all flipping depressed. I vaguely remember Dr. Cooper telling me at my last appointment that she wanted me to check in with her most often because she wanted to watch for depression. That was back in August, and it is now December. Could depression have taken over all of us, not just me? By the looks of it, yes.

Zon shrieks, breaking my thoughts. I look up from my lap, which I did not realize I was even staring blankly at, and attempt to see what she sees. I see nothing, so I return to my thoughts, half my attention on the space around me. After much thought, I conclude that the only way to make sense of Anonymous's letter is to write out the given information. I leave the living room and return moments later with the letter, a pencil, and a notepad. I begin noting what I see in the letter.

Gears start turning in my mind as I go over the instructions. I need to do this is private, so I collect my materials and return to my dark bedroom. Flipping on the lights, I start my analysis. What feels like hours later, I throw the notepad away from me with a feeling of frustrating completion. It's a Divining Rod, used by Lemurians to locate nearly anything. If I recall correctly, Fisk is a Lemurian, but Anonymous doesn't seem interested in Fisk. No, xe wants me to create a Divining Rod in order to find whichever mother I choose. And I think I know how to convey my decision.

A few notes later, my hypothesis is solid. Fire and water both have "e" and "r" in them, like the name Drew. Earth and air both have "a" and "r" in them, like the name Miranda, and the word air, when rearranged, resembles the second, third, and fourth letters of Mom's name: ira. But how am I supposed to choose? I look at my closed door and picture the Saturdays sitting out there and Doyle off somewhere; then I replay memories in my mind with Mom and Dad when I was little. I glance down at my notes. Next I look intently out my window.

I have reached my decision.

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Sorry I took so long to get this chapter out. I needed time to let my ideas recharge after finishing a different fanfiction. I hope this was an okay chapter to read, even if it was a little slow. I promise things will start picking up; I just needed this chapter to set the stage. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all!


	2. Making Shapes

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 2! This chapter, like the last, will probably move kind of slowly, but I promise you all that the story does pick up pace. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

Chapter 2: Making Shapes

 **Trigger Warning: Self Harm mentioned frequently towards the second half of the chapter!**

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Today, 6 December, is the day I begin the path to finding my mother. I know what I need to do, so I get dressed in my warmest clothes and head outside. My watch says it is shortly after five o'clock and below freezing. Silently, I slip around to behind the house. Taking a deep breath, I clear my mind and imagine the shape of the divining rod. I call the elements to me and shape them. The cold air burns my face as it whips by, but I try to ignore it. If I lose focus, this will never work.

I look up, and the shape of the divining rod is before my eyes. I sigh from relief. Hopefully Anonymous sees it soon, because I can't keep this shape for too long. I wait a few more minutes before slowly releasing the elements. They return to nature quietly and sadly. They too know what happened five months ago, and they too struggle to be lively. Maybe it's because of my powers, but I feel that I connect with the elements and am intertwined with them. I am they, and they are I.

Staring up at the dark night sky reminds me that I had better go inside. Hopefully Anonymous saw my shape. Now, more than ever, I want to find my mother. I want to bring her home and be with her. I had never really had a mother in my life before, and then both were suddenly ripped away from me. It simply isn't fair. A tear, either from sadness or the cold, escapes my eye and slides down to my cheek before freezing to my face. I really should go inside and maybe go back to sleep. I pull my coat tighter around myself as I make the walk back to the house.

Once inside, I close the door silently and creep back to my room. If anyone else knew what I did just now, they would surely flip out. After all, how can we know that my mother won't return to us as a reanimated body? Shaking my head, I try to remove those thoughts from my mind. Perhaps going back to sleep is the best thing I can do. With my decision made, I return to my room and go back to sleep.

A few hours later, I wake up and grab a quick bite to eat. As I pull together a sandwich, I glance at the time; the mail truck will be here in a few short hours. Then, I hope, I will know if Anonymous saw my answer. Suddenly, my stomach twists. What if xe doesn't like my answer? I shake my head as I try to shake those thoughts from my mind. I would rather have no mother and have angered Anonymous than have my mother and hurt those closest to me.

The rest of the day passes in a blur, a blur that seems as if someone had hit fast forward on remote control but left me standing still. How has it already become night? How have the few hours of sunlight already passed? I swear it was only minutes ago that the sun was only beginning to rise. Oh well. The day has passed, and there is nothing I am able to do about it. Anonymous has sent me no word regarding my answer, but that is fine. Tomorrow, I will look for a letter again. The longer I wait, the less time I fear I will have to find my mother. I glance up at the deserted living room. Both my mothers.

My feet left me from the chair and float across the floor over to my room. Before I am able to stop myself, I am in my bathroom preparing to shower. When I finish in the shower, I find myself dressed, ready for bed, and already under the covers. But I do not fall asleep. Rather, I lie awake and stare blankly at the ceiling. Fear fills my every fiber. But what do I fear? Living the rest of my life with the guilt of knowing that I survived the deaths of Dad and Drew? Knowing that Mom is somewhere in the world, pregnant with my sibling, and not knowing anything about her location? Do I fear the next day, and the next? Do I fear my future of calamity? Of suffering? What is it that I fear? What is it that makes me tense? That makes my heart beat louder and more frantically? What is it that makes me always glance over my shoulder and always keep my eyes keen while my head lowered? What scares me so that I am unable to move on with my life? What scares me so?

Thoughts move about my mind, some racing and some trickling. Still, I cannot shake that question of what scares me from my mind. I have no fear of Argost, for he is long dead. He died the day my father died, eight months ago. No, Argost is not whom I fear. I fear not the Saturdays, for they are my family. I ponder the question for a while. Do I fear the Secret Scientists? Do I fear for Mom and her baby? Yes, but those are not what keep me awake. Perhaps Anonymous is the one I fear? No, my fear is something far deeper, far more sinister than that. My fear is something very few understand. What I truly fear is the monster I have become, the self harming, worthless, pathetic monster I am. I fear the fact that I am no longer in control as the self harm has taken over my body and my mind. It feeds off me, drinking my life away the same way I drink water from a glass. I wish, in my heart of hearts, for the monster to go away, no matter how much better I feel after doing it. Alas, I am the monster, and I am never going away. Not as long as I live.

Silently, I climb out of bed and slip into the bathroom. A few minutes later, I return with a collection of bandages on my arms and crimson still lingering on my counter. The monster never dies.

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So I hope that wasn't too dark for you all. Sorry for posting this late; I've been busy and I got some bad news recently, so I've been trying to cope with that. Anyways, thank you all so much for reading. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. I love you all!


	3. Very Clever

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 3! This chapter is where we start to see a little bit of an increase in the pace, but it is by no means a sprint. I do promise, however, that I will pick up the pace. Just trust me, okay? Here's Chapter 3: Very Clever.

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

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I've heard it said that the cry of an anguished is the worst sound ever known to humans ears, not because it is physically painful to hear, but because it reflects the raw suffering, torment, and grief the crier bears. But what about when your heart's cry is drowned out by the cries of others' hearts?

I pace nervously around the courtyard. The snow is now just above my ankles; I swear I just cleared all the snow away. What day is it today? Oh yes, today is 7 December. Two days have passed since I gave Anonymous my answer. I really hope xe got it, and I hope xe realizes I am not willing to recant my decision. If xe doesn't like my answer, that is xe's problem. Still, this whole situation gives me so much anxiety. Was it really worth it? I don't even know who Anonymous is or how they know so much about me. It is rather unnerving, but I have no other choice. I need my mother back. We all need Drew back.

A tear rolls quickly out of my eye and freezes to my face. I wipe it away with my gloved hand. This is killing me. I feel so alone, so lonely, so lost. I have nothing left to fight for. The others can find Drew and Mom without my help. It wouldn't be hard at all. They can do things I never imagined being able to do. And all I would have to do it take a running leap into the icy cold waters less than 150 feet from me. It would be so nice. I'd go to sleep and be free from this pain. No more suffering, no more anguish. I'd actually be worth something, and I'd be with Dad again. Stars, I haven't spoken to him since I was taken away. At least I wouldn't have to love with that pain anymore.

But can I really do that to my already suffering family? Glancing out at the ocean, I know in my heart that I can't do that to the Saturdays. Losing Drew was hard; they can't stand to lose someone else. No, I will stay here. If not for me, then for the Saturdays. There is no way on this planet we call Earth that I am inflicting any more pain on my already grieving family. Silently and with my thoughts, I return to the house. Zak has just set the mail down on the table.

The tension fills my body; I become a brick. I see it, there, on the table. The letter with my names in near flawless calligraphy. I grab it, shove it under my coat, and lock myself in my room. A whirlwind of emotions consumes me. Should I open the letter now and see Anonymous's response, or should I wait until later, after everyone else has gone to bed? If I open it now, I won't have to deal with the anxiety of not knowing what is in the letter, but then I would have to deal with the anxiety of trying to continue the rest of the day without anyone else knowing about the letter.

After a few more minutes of debate, I decide to just go ahead and read the letter. It's not like anyone will notice my change in behavior, that is, if there is a change. With trembling hands, I open the letter, careful not rip the envelope. There is a small piece of paper inside with the same handwriting as the envelope. The letter is short, but the contents shock me. Anything but this, I think, anything but this.

 _Dear Miss Van Rook/ Saturday, December 5_

 _You must think you are quite clever with your little answer to my riddle. Yes, I know you cracked the code. You are very smart, Miss Van Rook/Saturday, but I do not suggest playing with me in such a manner anymore. I know you are young, but a word of advice, people dislike being toyed with, especially by children._

 _Nevertheless, my word is in writing. I will help you learn about both your mothers. Since Dr. Saturday was the first mother you had and the first you lost, I will help you find her first. Here is your first clue: the very flame that is tied your mother will guide you to her; it is where used items belongs._

 _If you successfully find the answer to this clue within two days of getting this, I will give you the next clue. If you fail, I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your days._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Anonymous_

I blink several times and reread the letter. How in the world am I supposed to figure this out. What flame is tied to Drew? If only I knew. If only I had gotten to know Drew better. I wish now that I had seen more of Argost's files on Drew. But those files are probably all gone by now. If they weren't destroyed in the War, they were probably taken away or lost to the perpetually stormy weather at WeirdWorld. Stars, why didn't I think to grab the files the last time I was at WeirdWorld? Why didn't I ever ask Munya to save them or make a copy of them? Stars, why am I so stupid? Then an idea strikes me. I pull out a piece of paper and a pen; the words fly off the tips of my pen and onto the paper. Before I even realize it, I am sealing the envelope and writing the address. I grab a stamp and stick it on the corner and put it in the mailbox. Tomorrow, I will send it to Munya. Hopefully he is able to find the files in good condition. I hate to send him back to the stars-awful place, but he is the only person I know who would go back there for any reason.

Fisk sees me coming in from putting my letter to Munya in the mailbox. He stops me and asks what I was doing outside, so I tell him I was putting a letter in the mailbox. Fisk eyes my carefully before nodding and walking away. As he walks away, I notice his shoulders slumped forwards in defeat. I have to got to find Drew, or at least what happened to her.

I sit down with several books in the airship library; one of the books is Drew's photo album that she had hidden on one of the shelves. Looking through it, I never realized how much Drew wanted to keep memories of her life. Most people only have one or two photos lying around, but Drew's photo album is really something special. It's like she was trying to have evidence of as many memories as possible.

You dumby, I think to myself, she lost both her parents and her brother when she was twelve. Of course she would try to save as many memories with her family as she possibly could. A tear trickles down my cheek. She lost her mother when she was twelve; I bet she never imagined she'd leave her own children when they were thirteen.

Finding little information in the airship library, I return to my room in the house. Or at least, I start to return to my room. I am stopped on my way there.

"Lily, come with me." Doc is looking me square in the eyes with Komodo standing by his side. Stars, please don't let them have found out about the letters from Anonymous. Doc, Komodo, and I all make our way to the kitchen, treading lightly to avoid drawing the attention of the others. Doc and I sit down at the table, and Komodo looks up at me intently. "Lily, Komodo found these in your room," Doc says as he spreads the letters out on the table. I look down at Komodo.

"Why did you go into my room if I wasn't in there?" The heat flares around my eyes, and I grow dizzy for a moment from the anger.

"That's not the biggest concern right now, Lily," Doc says. "I read the clue in the last letter. It's probably her firesword." I had forgotten that Doc is reluctant to say Drew's name now. "Her firesword was connected to her in a way I have only ever seen one other time: with Zak and the Claw. I believe that finding her firesword is the most important thing we can do." I nod.

"How can that be possible? Her firesword was vaporized moments before she was." Doc shrugs.

"This whole situation baffles me, but at this point, I am willing to try anything to bring her back."

"So, it's the firesword we're after."

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So that's the end of Chapter 3! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I'll have Chapter 4 up soon! Thank you all for reading! I love you all so much! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!


	4. Bound Flame

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 4! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. Aren't you all glad the story has started to pick up speed? I know I am! Also, I am moving soon, so I might not be able to publish as often as I want. This move is very stressful for me, but once it's done and I'm settled in, I'll be able to write and publish more frequently. Here's Chapter 4: Bound Flame

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self Harm mentioned. May be graphic for some. Reader discretion is advised.**

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Where on Earth are we going to find to Drew's firesword? Better question: _how_ on Earth are we going to find her firesword? It was vaporized moments before Drew, so unless we are supposed to somehow turn the air particles, which are probably scattered all over by now, back into her sword, then finding the firesword will be very difficult. Unless, Drew was not using her own firesword the day she died. But why would she do that? Ugh. I slide my fingers in my hair, stopping when the heels of my hands press firmly against my temples. None of this makes any sense. How can I even be sure that this isn't just a scam? I mean this letter came in mail with no information about the sender. Or what if it's Dr. Beeman trying to trick me? I already know that he will stop at nothing to achieve his goals, but even this seems bizarre for him. No, this has to be legitimate. But does that mean that Drew is not actually dead? But why would she fake her own death?

I bang my head against my desk. Stars, why doesn't any of this make sense?! Why can't anything in my life ever just be normal?! An overwhelming urge to slice open my skin washes over me. No, I tell myself. No, I will not give in. The more I fight the urge, the stronger it grows. It grows and grows until it is as if I am no longer able to control my body. I walk into the bathroom, pull down my jeans, sit on the counter, and I place the cool metal blade of my razor to my skin. No, I don't want to do this, yet somehow I have to.

I move the blade closer to where my thighs meet. I press down on the blade and in a single motion slice open my skin. The blood comes slowly. Still, I don't feel better. I repeat the action several more times. I feel better, for now. Next, I clean the wounds and stop the bleeding with toilet tissue. It takes a while, but the bleeding eventually stops. Then I bandage the wounds and clean up. If anyone knew I still do this, I don't know what they'd do. I just wish they could understand. I wish I could tell them and not be ashamed, not be judged. I wish they could understand that I don't choose to struggle to deal with the urges. I wish I could ask for help without anyone thinking I'm either going to commit suicide or go on a murder rampage. I just don't understand why others can't understand. Maybe that's what's wrong with society today; we lack the ability to truly understand each other. We fear anything different from ourselves, and we are too preoccupied with ourselves and our own problems to truly get to know the problems of others and to help them.

But nevermind that. I have to figure out where I can find Drew's firesword. Maybe going back to the place where Drew and her sword were vaporized is the best place to start. Silently, I collect myself and get dressed in my winter clothes before heading outside. The snow has stopped falling for now; the sun is shining bright. I slip over to the place where Drew died. It's easy to find because we put together a little memorial for Drew shortly after she died. The memorial isn't complicated, but it feels like enough.

As I look at the spot for a few minutes, and I wonder if there is supposed to be a shadow or not where Drew was vaporized. Part of me doubts that there should be a shadow, but I'm no expert on vaporizing people. I should hope no one is an expert on that, but Dr. Beeman has sadly proven himself to be one. I remind myself that I am looking for clues and need to focus, so I draw my attention back to my search. After almost an hour and a half of searching, I find nothing and return inside. Today is the last day I can tell Anonymous that I have found the firesword, yet I have been unable to even begin looking. Unless a miracle happens, there is no hope of finding either of my mothers now.

Zak comes running out of the house, his coat only halfway zipped; he was in some kind of rush when he left the house, that's for sure. He runs over to me, panting as he tries to catch his breath. His breath forms a visible mist with each exhale.

"Lily, Dad told me about everything. Could it be a museum?" I stare at Zak in disbelief. Of course! Everything in a museum was once used. But with so many museums on the planet, how will we ever find the right one? I ask Zak my question, to which he responds that the Secret Scientists have a museum. With a nod, Zak and I race back inside to inform Doc of Zak's idea.

Inside, Doc listens carefully to Zak as he explains his idea. The more I listen to it, the more I understand it. Once Zak finishes, Doc nods and says it could be a possibility. However, the only problem is the person in charge of guarding the museum works for Dr. Beeman. I sigh. It's hopeless. Still, I tell the others that I will let Anonymous know our thoughts. Stars, I hope it buys us time. We really need it. I scrawl the letter and let it go outside. If Anonymous really is as all seeing and all knowing as xe claims, xe will have no trouble finding the letter.

In the dead of the night, I wake to a flashlight in my face. I steal a glance at my clock; it's almost seven at night. It's Zak with the flashlight. He tells me Doc found a way in the museum; we are going on a fieldtrip.

When we arrive, we find the place looking practically deserted. Doc mutters something about the guarding Secret Scientist probably being off with Dr. Beeman rather than here. Quickly but cautiously, we make our way inside. We agree to stay together.

Eventually we find something of interest.

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So that's the end of Chapter 4! I'm sorry it was a tad short, but hopefully you all enjoyed it nonetheless. Thank you all so much for reading! It means a lot to me! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	5. Maybe

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 5! Just so you know, my move is approaching quickly, so I go MIA for a while, that's why. I promise that I'll be back soon, though, Anyways, here's Chapter 5: Maybe

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens.

 **Trigger Warning: Suicidal dreams mentioned in the first paragraph;**

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I wake to the feeling of something sitting on my chest. I glance around, or at least try to, but Komodo is sitting on me. I nudge him off and try to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, I can't go back to sleep, so I get up and walk around, careful not to wake anyone else. My dream lingers in my mind, haunting me in a way. I had dreamed I was on top of an office building. It was a sunny day, and the wind was blowing; I was alone. I had glance around me, as if looking for someone, before taking several strides back. I took a running start and leaped. The fall had been vivid, and although I saw myself hit the ground, I never actually felt it. It had scared me, and Komodo's sitting on my chest hadn't help.

I find myself outside the library in the house. The room itself is rather empty since most of the Saturdays' books were destroyed by the Fiskerton bots, and the Saturdays have not yet had the motivation to replace them. From what I can tell, Drew was the person who used the library the most, so it seems fitting that she would have been the one to restore it. For now, though, it is the place where our current closest secret is being hidden. I open the door and feel the cold air hit me in the face. I creep into the room and prepare to feel around for a light switch. To my surprise, however, the lights are already turned on. Carefully, I venture further and further into the library. Soon, I lay eyes on the cause for the lights being turned on. It's Doc, with Fisk and Zon. They are all staring at the object resting in a display case. I swear I see tears streaming down Doc's face.

Silently, I join them, and wrap my arm around Doc's shoulders to comfort him. He smiles weakly but doesn't say a word. I glance at the object. It's her firesword alright. Four months after her death, and here is the weapon we thought was vaporized with her. I can't bring myself to look at it any longer. None of this makes any sense. I saw, we all saw, Drew's firesword vaporized just moments before she was. How, then, is this weapon able to be in solid form before us? Why was it in the Secret Scientist museum? Did I miss something? Was Drew- no. She was, and this clearly isn't her sword. It's a fake. Or maybe it is her sword, and the one she was using the day she died was fake. I don't know, but it makes my head hurt just trying to sort it all out. I give Doc a quick, comforting squeeze before I make my way back to my room. On the way out of the library, I swear I hear Doc whisper a thank you. But maybe I just imaged it.

I don't make it back to my room. Instead I camp out on the couch in the living room.

I dream of horrific things. I dream of myself dying, and I dream that I am forever running from a monster that surrounds me. When I wake between each nightmare, I am covered in sweat. What is happening to me?

The letter smacks me in the face. I move it, open one eye, and glare at the person who threw it at me; it was Fisk. I sit up, not realizing I had fallen asleep on the couch again. The blankets slide off, as I open the envelope. That's when I notice that all the others are watching me. I unfold the letter and begin to read it.

Dear Miss Van Rook/Saturday December 9

I applaud you and your family in your success in finding Dr. Saturday's firesword. I hate to admit, though, that I did believe you would find it, nor did I rather you find it. Alas, you did, so I will stay true to my word. Also, regarding your plea for more time. My answer is no, and since you did not need it, that only further justifies my answer. Regardless, here is your next clue. You have two days from the time you read this. Good luck.

Born of the same, yet barely knew. Find this clue, and you will be closer to Dr. Saturday.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

The others nod intently as I close the letter. They appear to be thinking what I am thinking. How in the world are we going to find Doyle? He could be anywhere. Stars, I don't think we've seen him since we had Drew's memorial. If I recall correctly, he stayed for the memorial service, said goodbye to each of us, and left. The poor thing. He lost his family as a child, was raised in various orphanages, found his sister and her family, lost his former mentor, then had me show up as a living reminder of his hurt, and finally he lost his sister. And all in the span of two years. It's no wonder he left. He probably needed to clear his head and find some way to move on with this life. Stars, he is not going to like us trying to find him, then.

Later, after everyone has settled down for the night, I make my way to the computer room in the house, as stealthily as I can. Making sure no one is around, I close the door and turn on the lights. Then I approach the computer and turn it on. Using a few tips from Zak, I am able to bypass most of the security measures in the way and access the list of contacts in the system. I scroll through the list of scientists I once considered both friends and enemies until I reach the three names I am looking for; I linger on Mom's name, contemplating if I should send her a message or not. I choose not to, and go back to the names I need. I send each one a message before shutting down the computer and returning to my room. I know that, despite the Saturdays' impressive technology, we can't find Doyle alone. We're going to need help, and that's just what I've done.

Back in my room, I stare up at the ceiling above my bed. I really wish I had both my mothers right now. I could really talk to one of them right now.

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So that's the end of Chapter 5! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading! I love you all so much! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!


	6. Tracking Down

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 6! Just so you all know, my move is later today, and it might take me a few days to adjust to being in a different place. I hope you all have been well. Here's Chapter 6: Tracking Down.

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned. May be graphic for some. Reader discretion is advised.**

* * *

My eyes meet the eyes of the man in front of me. Most would be intimidated by him, but not I. Standing slightly behind the man, is a teenager about my age. Under normal circumstances, I would be ready to take these two down after everything they've done to my families, but I don't have time for that. They are some of the only people who can find Doyle. I'll save my butt kicking for a later day.

"Miss Saturday, how wonderful it is to see you again. My heavens you resemble your mother more each day."

"If we weren't doing business, I'd kill you for saying that, Agent Epsilon," I spit. I am so not in the mood for Agent Epsilon's games right now. I barely got any sleep last night, and I ended up crying myself straight into another nightmare. Let's not forget that my hormones are also crazy right now, since I am a girl after all; we girls do have to deal with a little monthly hinderance called a period. Funny, I always imagined my mom would be around for my first period. Instead, I have to deal with this alone since I'm the only human female in the house.

Agent Epsilon, I swear, rolls his eyes behind his glasses. I clench my jaw. Honest to stars, if we weren't doing business, I would kill him here and now.

My gaze extends past Agent Epsilon, to his "son" Francis. He seems different now, more reserved, quieter, as if he is skating on thin ice with Agent Epsilon. Part of me wants to acknowledge Francis, but I can only imagine the kind of trouble that would get him in with his people. Francis meets my gaze before looking away coldly. I wonder what happened to him after I escaped their people. Did they brainwash him, or did they just severely punish him? I'll probably never know, but I feel better knowing they did not kill him. Or did they kill Francis and replace him with another clone for Epsilon? Not that it matters or anything. Right now, in this moment, I need to focus on getting my mission across to Agent Epsilon without killing him first. Stars, I hate him. He's so aggravating.

"Miss Saturday, would you mind -" Agent Epsilon doesn't finish his sentence. The doors to the conference room on the airship bang open. It's Zak and the others. They see Agent Epsilon and Francis, and they prepare to strike. The air is pregnant with tension; clearly neither side wants to make the first move. The Saturdays turn to me. As calmly as I can, I explain the situation to them. Doc seems mad with me for turning to the "capricious side," as he calls it, for help, but he hides it.

"My, Dr. Saturday, you never were very good with negotiations. You always thought with your fist first. Much unlike your deceased wife, the late Dr. Drew Saturday. She was a diplomat."

"Don't you ever speak about my wife again, Epsilon!" Doc yells. Part of me wants to shoot him a glare, but I know that will only make the situation worse. Stepping in, I revert the conversation back to why I brought Agent Epsilon here. The two clones listen to my request, but neither seems to show any interest in it.

"Unfortunately, Miss Saturday, our people do not track down people for simple family reunions." They turn to leave. I clench my fist, and the snow outside falls harder. The snow buries Agent Epsilon's ship enough to make leaving impossible. I unclench my fist as they turn back around to face us. "It looks like we are here for a while." Doc nods as if to say that they are indeed stuck here. Then Doc tells the others and me to go dig Agent Epsilon's ship out of the snow. We go, leaving the two adults and Francis behind. I wish I could stay, but I know that Epsilon would be wary of my presence. I just hope Doc convinces Agent Epsilon to have his people track down Doyle.

Zak and Fisk man the actual shoveling work; I wanted to help them, but insisted on doing it themselves. Instead, Komodo and I supervise while Zon blows some on the snow away with her wings. Every so often I go to use my powers to move the snow aside, but each time, Komodo stops me and reminds me that Agent Epsilon's people don't need to know about my elemental powers if they don't already know about them. Stars, I hate having powers. They just complicate everything, and I can never use them when I want to. Yes, they are rather useful at times, but I would personally prefer to not have them. Maybe that's how Zak feels about his Kur powers. Granted he is the reincarnation of Kur.

Or is he? Argost did steal Kur from Zak, but I had powers that I gave to Zak. I'm not sure if Zak even is the reincarnation of Kur anymore. After all, the Nagas did call Zak "Kur" when we went to their nest. I don't know. I honestly don't know. The whole concept of Zak being Kur reincarnated but I just having powers is mind boggling. Besides, how are my powers even supposed to keep Kur in check? None of this makes any sense. Stars, why couldn't we have just been a normal family?

Lost in my thoughts, I don't hear Zak shout that he and Fisk have finished digging Agent Epsilon's ship out of the snow. Zak's shouts catch me off guard, and I end of jumping and falling backwards into the snow behind me. It's much colder than I expected and combined with the shock of Zak shouting, I feel myself turning bright red with embarrassment. Zak laughs as he pulls me to my feet. When he turns around, I scoop up a snowball and throw it at him. It hits him square on the neck. Zak turns back around to face me, and our snowball fight begins. I laugh and smile the entire time; I am finally, after months of feeling numbness beginning to feel more alive, more human again. It feels amazing, and the glee resonates within my body. I swear to stars that I am beaming with joy.

At one point in the fight, after Zak begins to realize that Zon and Komodo are on my team, he uses his Kur powers to control my allies and has them bombard me with snowballs.

"Hey! That's not fair! If you get to use your powers, then I get to use mine!" I shout. Zak's head pops up over the miniature fort he made.

"But you can't because Epsilon and Francis are still here." Zak's words stun me. Curse my powers. In that moment, Zak throws several snowballs at me, and most of them hit my face. I prepare to counter the attack when the two clones step out of the airship.

"My, if the children aren't playing a little game, Father," Francis sneers. "Aren't you so glad that I am past the age of such folly?"

"Indeed, son, indeed." Then the two board their ship and leave. Furious at Francis's remark, I start to make it snow harder, but Zak stops me and tells me that if I make them crash that he will personally strangle me, for they will be stuck with us. I back down and head inside the house to go blow off some steam in the gym.

As I punch the punching bag repeatedly, I realize something. I have felt emotions more deeply these past few days than I have in the past few months. By no means is my self-diagnosed depression gone, but it no longer feels as heavy as it did before. Maybe I am starting to get better. Or maybe I am just experiencing a brief moment of ease before it consumes me again. Either way, I'm determined to make it last. Being somewhat free from the weight and the numbness of my depression has been a wonderful feeling; I had almost forgotten what it feels like to not be depressed. I wonder if once it's finally gone, I will be happy again. Or will remnants linger in my mind, to forever remind me that it is a disease that never seems to go away completely? I can't be sure; I don't think anyone can be sure with depression.

I strike the punching bag with all my might, and it tilts backwards before resetting itself in its normal position. I feel better now, but stars, I could kill those two. I wish the whole organization would just collapse. Ugh. Why do they have to be so rude?

"LILY!" Zak yells, with his hands cupped to my ear.

"WHAT?" I yell back as I swat his hands away. Zak explains that Doc has something to tell us. I peel off the boxing gloves and throw them on the ground as I run out the door; I'll pick them up later.

In the kitchen, Doc has everyone's attention. He has an envelope in one hand and is using the other hand to lean against the counter. He makes eye contact with each of us. The anxiety in the air is palpable. Stars, I wish he would hurry up and tell us. Then Doc takes a deep inhale and exhales slowly, forming an "o" shape with his mouth. He looks down at the ground before looking up at the ceiling, as if he is uncertain of what to say. Then he looks back at us.

He got a new job. Yes, Doc Saturday got a new job. He explains that ever since the Secret Scientists turned on them a year ago, he and Drew had been looking for new jobs. Unfortunately, they had not been able to find any in cryptozoology, so they had branch out. Doc recently heard back from a privately funded organization of computer scientists, and he got the job. He starts this coming January. That, however, means that Zak and I will no longer be homeschooled, for no one will home to teach us. I feel the tears form in my eyes, but I blink them back. I excuse myself quickly and run to my room.

I throw open my closet and drawers and start pulling out all the shorts and short sleeved shirts. No, this can't be happening. I can't go to public school. I'm still behind, and if anyone finds out about me or Zak, it'll be a disaster. No, no. This isn't happening. It's not real. The urges to cut washes over me. No, no, no. I can't. No, this isn't fair. No, stars darn it, no. I will not succumb to my urges. I am stronger than they are. The fiery tears burn my face and I curl into a ball and rock. The urges grow and grow. They consume me, so I curl in tighter to protect myself from them. They still grow. Finally, in desperation, I turn on the shower to scorching hot. I jump in and let the water burn me. As it burns me, I weep. This isn't fair. I'm thirteen, almost fourteen, years old. I'm not supposed to be struggling with self harm urges. I sink down to the shower floor and continue to let the water burn me. Eventually, the tears stop, and the water turns cold. I cut the water off, step out, and dry off. Then I put my clothes back on and return to the kitchen. Only Doc is still in the kitchen.

"Lily, are you alright?" he asks.

"What did Agent Epsilon say?" I ask, avoiding Doc's question. Doc shakes his head.

"We're on our own, and we only have a day left."

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So that's the end of Chapter 6! I hope it wasn't too graphic for some. But I do want to stress that what Lily experiences is real and that some people do actually struggle the way she does. Thank you all so much reading. I love you all so much. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. I'll post Chapter 7 as soon as I can.


	7. Running Out

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 7! What do you all think of the story so far? Let me know, because your feedback encourages me to write and can point out details that I miss. Here's Chapter 7: Running Out

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

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My heartbeat pounds in my ears, and it hurts my head. My palms are sweaty, despite it being freezing cold outside. This is a day I have been dreading for several months now. I knew it was coming, but I never imaged it would happen now and under these conditions. I curl my lips inward over my teeth, and bite down enough to feel pain. This is not going to go well, but it's my only choice. Today is the last day we have to find Doyle, and without Agent Epsilon's people helping us, and without Wadi's help, we are down to just Ulraj and ourselves. That is, if Ulraj is willing to help us. If not, we're on own to find Doyle with what little information we've gathered. This hunt for Drew has turned into something much harder than I ever anticipated. And watch it all be a hoax and Drew actually be dead.

Ulraj approaches the front gate, so I turn around and pretend not to see him. Zak, Fisk, and Zon all come running out to meet him while I linger behind and watch with my peripheral vision. Things have been awkward between Ulraj and me since he confessed his feelings for me several months ago. Even the memorial was awkward, but we tried our best to mask it. But here we are, about to team up to find my uncle.

"Iris, it's so good to see you," Ulraj says warmly.

"You too, Ulraj. And I go by Lily now."

"Oh, alright. When did that happen?" I explain my decision to go by Lily very quickly as Zak whisks us off to the computer room in the house.

In the computer room, the Saturdays, Ulraj, and I make a plan and review the information we already have. When we reveal that we only have today, Ulraj's eyes bulge. He says that we should have told him earlier, but I rather snarkily remind him that I called him two days ago for help. Ulraj backs down, and I smirk triumphantly. Lily: 1, Ulraj: 0.

Once our plan is settled on, Doc asks me to walk Ulraj out. I reluctantly obey. On our way out, Ulraj and I talk. He wants us to be friends again, and it's in his eyes that he's sincere. Unfortunately, I'm not ready for that, so I tell him the truth. He nods respectfully, and by then, we have reached the gate. He exchanges goodbyes before he dives off the cliff and into the water below. Lucky him. He's the king of an underwater kingdom and can do whatever he wants. I am just an abandoned servant girl turned orphan. Yes, I have the Saturdays, but I will never truly part of their family, even if I am their flesh and blood. They were so well established before I showed up, and I undid it all. Maybe I was better off alone at WeirdWorld. The cold wind blows my hair in front of my face. That's it. I am going to get this mop chopped off.

Zak comes racing towards me, excitement radiating from him. Stars, I wish he would tone it down. When he reaches me, he is so excited he can barely breathe. He has an idea that can help us find Doyle. He remembered me telling him how I used my Kur powers to find them back when Dr. Beeman had captured them months ago, so Zak figured he could use the technique to find Doyle. Internally beaming, I tell Zak how to use the technique, and he runs inside the house to get a picture of Doyle. While Zak is inside, I turn my thoughts inward. I miss being connected to cryptids the way Zak is, but I know that Zak has a right to those powers after everything he has been through. Nevertheless, I still miss being able to understand Komodo like I used to; now I have to put in a lot of energy to understand what he says, though I would never tell him this. He has been so sweet to me, and I just can't hurt him like that. My greatest fear, though, is that I'll lose my ability to understand him entirely. That would crush both of us, and I try not to dwell on it. Still, it lingers constantly in my mind.

Zon comes and pushes me into the house. Inside, I see Zak setting up to channel his powers into global communication with cryptids in order to find Doyle. I sit down on the living room floor with Zak and guide him into a meditative state deep enough to awaken even the most dormant part of his Kur powers. Then I tell him to use the full extent of his powers to feel the life of every cryptid on Earth; it sounds hard, but it is actually quite easy to do. Once he has connected, I describe Doyle's picture to Zak, who forms the image in his mind. That image is then sent out to all the cryptids on the planet. Zak stays silent as he tunes into the cryptids' messages. Finally, he opens his mouth to speak. An inaudible word comes out. Slowly, I draw Zak out of the meditative state and give him time to adjust to being in the present. Then Zak looks at me and nods. He says thank you before getting up to tell Doc.

Stars I hope we find Doyle in time. We only have a few hours left.

Komodo comes up to me and lays his head in my lap. I stroke his head and listen to his gentle growls; I will definitely miss not being able connect with him. I wonder what it will be like for him. He has said before that I'm the only one who really connects him, and I can only imagine how painful losing the connection to the one person who connects with him will be. I shun the thoughts from my mind and turn my attention back to Komodo. I need to spend as much time with him as I can. Our whole world is about to flip upside down this coming January, and we need to cherish the time we have together.

I look up from Komodo and stare at the wall in front of me. Unlike my time with those I lost, I think.

* * *

So that's the end of Chapter 7! I hope you all enjoyed it, even if it was a little short. Thank you all so much for reading. I love you all so much! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I'll have Chapter 8 up soon!


	8. Out Here

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 8 after my extended hiatus! I feel better now, and I was able to get a lot of writing done. Thank you all for being patient. I hope you all are enjoying the story so far! Tell me your thoughts in the reviews! Here's Chapter 8: Out Here.

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

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With only a few hours left on the clock, we are currently on our way to find Doyle. Thanks to Zak's powers and a technique Argost taught me years ago, we were able to locate him in the Arakan Mountains of Burma. How on Earth he ended up there, I'll never know, but right now, all that matters is that we get him back.

We get off the airship, and the first things I notice are the warmth and the dryness of the air; they are very different from things back in Seward. Then I notice the mountains around us, and I begin to wonder what kind of cryptids live here. I don't remember Argost ever having record of cryptids in this region. Maybe he just never knew about cryptids here.

A rustling in some nearby foliage startles me, but I don't show it; Zak would tease me forever if I did react. I look at where the rustling came from, and I am surprised to see a dog-like creature with short gray fur, a black muzzle, and rounded ears. Is that really a- no it can't be. They're not native to this area of Burma. Doc apparently sees the animal and is taken aback. He takes a closer look and pulls out his cryptidpedia. He searches the animal and ends up more confused than before. Great, even the super genius is confused; that can't be good.

The animal whistles, and Zak responds with, "I am." I never realized how great of an impact losing my Kur powers would have on my ability to understand other cryptids. It pains me, for I was connected to these magnificent creatures in a way that only one other human can understand, but I had it up to revive that one human. It feels like part of who I am has been removed and attached to someone else. It left a hollowness when I gave my powers to Zak, and that hollowness has not gone away. It is a constant reminder that the one thing that ever made me useful is now gone and in the hands of another. It makes grieving the loss and moving on impossible, for I cannot separate myself from the hollowness. It is a unrelenting reminder that I am forced to live with every day. I pull myself together and observe intently Zak's conversation with the cryptid.

"This is Nyein," Zak explains to us. "He is a Gray Dhole from the Pidaung Game Sanctuary." Doc has a shocked look on his face; he says that that is quite a ways from here. Then Zak translates, and the cryptid nods. Next, the cryptid makes more whistling noises as Zak listens intently. The two continue their conversation for a while, with Zak giving a few translations here and there. I watch the hours melt away as this conversation drags on and on. Finally, Zak and Nyein stop conversing, and Zak explains that Nyein is going to take us to Doyle. We all follow Zak and Nyein through the surrounding foliage.

We walk for what seems like several hours, but according to my watch, it has only been ten minutes. Komodo stays close to me and comforts me as we walk. I think he is beginning to understand what is happening to me. Stars, I wish I could stop this. This is going to hurt the both of us more than either of us can bear. We have been through a lot these past several months, and we have bonded so well. What will happen once we can no longer understand each other? _J'ai peur_. I'm scared. All my life, I have had a power than connected me to cryptids, and when I finally have one cryptid I truly feel connected and attached to, I no longer have the power to keep us together, How our connection has lasted this long, I don't know, but I have no idea what will happen once it's gone, nor do I have any idea how to save it.

Nyein and Zak stop, causing panic to fill my body. I tense up and mentally go into defense mode. They look around before Nyein sniffs the ground and continues to lead us onward. The panic passes, and I follow the group. Every so often, something rustles in the plants, but I try to ignore it. If the need arises, I'll use my powers, but that's a last resort.

Finally, after what feels like forever of walking, we stop again. Nyein whistles to Zak, and Zak translates that this is where Nyein last saw Doyle, or at least someone who looked like Doyle. As a group, we decide to linger and observe just in case the person returns to this place. I then glance at my watch and almost cry. We have two hours left. If this person isn't Doyle, things are not going to turn out well for anyone.

I have stepped away to relieve myself when I hear the sounds of an altercation where Nyein led us. I finish up, sanitize my hands (I'm not crazy enough to go out hiking into the mountains without something to wash my hands with), and hurry over to where the noises came from. I was right, there is an altercation, and it looks as if everyone is involved. I rush in and try to solve the conflict, but I'm struck by something in the process. It cuts me, and I feel the blood flowing. Quickly, I put my hand over the area and heal it; I'm surprised I still could do it, for I haven't done any healing for months now. Then I'm back in the conflict, but pretty soon things are resolved. It was Doyle, and Zak's the idiot who jumped on him from the tree. That resulted the altercation. Any how, we found Doyle, and we have three minutes left on the clock, so we're all good. Then I notice Nyein is injured, but he growls ferociously when I approach him. I call Zak over, and Zak tells him what I'm going to do. I lay my hand on the wound and heal it. Nyein thanks me before saying he has to leave. He is gone before Doc can object; we now have no way of knowing how to get back to the airship, for the Doc's remote has no signal out here. Zak then suggests that Zon fly up and find the airship, then guide us back. We all agree to the plan, well except for Doyle, but we really don't have much of a choice. Zon flies up and is up for a while. Then she comes back down and shakes her head; she can't see anything. It's hopeless. We're lost, and it's getting dark.

Doyle offers to let us spend the night as his place. We gladly accept, and we follow him to where he has been staying. The place is not much, but it seems to have worked for Doyle for the past little bit. As we look around, Doyle explains that he's been moving around a lot. Part of me suspects that he is trying to run from the grief of losing his sister again, but I keep that to myself. I don't want to make this more awkward than it has to be. Soon, we are all settled for the night in various places around the campsite. I find my sleeping place for the night and lie down. Komodo joins me, and we fall asleep.

A chilling, damp breeze stirs me from my sleep. I thought it was the dry season and that the temperatures aren't this low. Oh well. I get up, careful not to disturb Komodo, and look around me. There is no one else awake. I stand walking around a bit, making sure to leave a way for me get back. I have no idea why I am walking away from the campsite, but I feel almost compelled to do it. The waxing crescent moon lights up the sky as I fumble my way through the trees. Finally, I stop and look around. There, lodged between two sticks, is a note flapping in the breeze. I pick it up and attempt to read the name. I have to squint, but I can just barely make out the same handwriting as the other two letters I have received. But how did Anonymous know to find me out here?

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So that's the end of Chapter 8! I hope you all enjoyed it, and I'll have Chapter 9 up soon! Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!


	9. Pieces

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 9! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. Anyways, here's Chapter 9: Pieces

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Hints of stalking mentioned at end.**

* * *

I keep the letter folded in my pocket. There is no way I am opening it now. If I am correct, Anonymous gives me two days for every task starting from the time I read the letter, so I all I have to do is wait until we get home to read it. By now, everyone is already awake, and Doc is trying to convince Doyle to return with us. But Doyle keeps refusing, saying that he needs time and space before he can return to the place where his sister died. I want so badly to tell Doyle that Drew isn't dead and that he is part of the key to finding her, but I know better than to do that.

Doc and Doyle continue their discussion for a long time, so Zak, Zon, Fisk, Komodo, and I entertain ourselves. Somehow, we end up playing manhunt; Fisk is hiding, and I dare say he is really good at hiding. We search high and low for him, but with no luck. He's not in any of the surrounding trees, nor in the bushes, nor even in the campsite. After the four of us are unable to find him, we call it quits and wait for Fisk to reveal himself. Only, he doesn't. He keeps hiding. Now we're starting to get concerned. It's not unlike Fisk to keep hiding after a game has ended, but normally he gives up after this long. Zak glances over to me, and I shrug. Then he stands up and disappears into the foliage around us; I stand up and follow in pursuit. I chase after him, careful not to stray too far from the campsite. At one point, I trip on a root and tumble. I stand up and spit the dirt from my mouth. Then I check to see where I'm injured. I'm bleeding a lot on my left hand, elbow, and knee. I heal those and continue with my pursuit of Zak. Eventually, I realize that I am lost. A few choice words in French escape my lips. I hear some snickering, and I look around, hoping to catch the person who dared laugh instead of helping me out. I catch a glimpse of a yellow pant leg, and I smirk to myself. Before he knows it, Zak is suspended upside down in the air by a tree branch. That'll teach him to laugh at me.

When Zak finally stops yelling, I use my powers to make the tree branch release him. Then, as he hits the ground, I go up to him, help him up, and whisper "payback" in his ear. He rolls his eyes, and we start heading back to Doyle's campsite. Fisk will turn up soon. On our way back to the campsite, we hear a low growling, so Zak and I immediately jump to the other's defense. Still, we cannot find the source of the noise, so we keep walking, our senses on high alert. Then we hear it again. Zak and I start to worry; we grab the other's hand and give it a comforting squeeze. Then something jumps out at us. My brother and I both scream a little, and then we realize it is only Fisk. The moment we realize this, the three of us are in stitches. I'm a little ticked with Fisk for scaring us, but it was funny nonetheless.

The three of us return to the campsite, where the others are waiting for us; Doc has a concerned expression. The minute he sees us, he runs over to us, hugs us, and then scolds us for disappearing. Zak and Fisk try to explain over each other, and it does nothing to help the situation. The two end up getting annoyed with the other for talking over them, which then starts an argument. Not wanting to get involved, I let Doc handle the situation; he sends them to separate parts of the campsite, so they can't annoy each other. Then Doc pulls me aside. He explains that he got Doyle to at least think about coming back with us and that Doyle is currently thinking it over. I nod, trying to mask the excitement and worry. Stars, I hope Doyle decides to return with us. How else are we supposed to find Drew?

Some time later, Doyle reappears from his tent, with red eyes from appears to be crying. He looks at all of us, and clearing his throat, announces that he will be returning with us. The others smile, and I am tempted to do so myself, but looking into Doyle's eyes change that. He is obviously still grieving, and I feel awful for forcing him to return with us. Silently, I approach Doyle and throw my arms around his waist in a hug. He's shocked at first, but soon he returns the hug. I whisper that I'm sorry for doing this to him, and I feel the vibrations in his body as he says that it's okay. No, it's not okay.

Zon flies back up now that is brighter outside, and she is able to direct us back to the airship. When we finally find our way back, the sun has already begun to set behind the mountains. All seven of us board the airship, and we start the trip back to Seward. I don't see much of Doyle for the duration of the trip; I imagine that he is spending the time by himself in order to prepare himself emotionally for our arrival.

We finally arrive in Seward, and we all disembark. I wait for Doyle and walk out with him. It's evident he's been crying. No, crying isn't the right word. He's been weeping. I take his hand and guide him out of the airship and to the elevator to take him to his room. He stays silent the entire time, clearly trying to cope with the pain of being back here. When we get to his room, he thanks me before disappearing inside. I walk away and return to my room to read the letter from Anonymous. However, another thought strikes me: I should probably check to see if Munya has written anything.

I race outside as I shove my arm into my coat. Then I throw open the mailbox and peer inside. There is a letter, and it is from Munya. I grab it and hurry back inside before I freeze my tail off.

Inside my room, I open the letters, first the one from Munya, then the one from Anonymous. Munya's letter is short, saying that unfortunately all Argost's files are gone. But his letter also says that he strongly believes that he is Dr. Derek Grey; all he has to do is find some way to confirm it. I am so happy for Munya, and my heart leaps when I read his letter. But then I realize something. Learning if Munya really is my uncle means finding either my aunt or Mom. I haven't seen either in months. _Zut!_ This is going to much harder for Munya than I think either of us anticipated. What happens if Munya isn't Derek? What happens if he is? Will his sisters accept him? More questions like these swirl and fill my head, so I set the letter aside, unable to handle all the thoughts and emotions. Then I pick up Anonymous's letter and read it.

Dear Miss Saturday, December 11

Congratulations on finding your dear uncle, Doyle Blackwell. I must admit, I am quite surprised you were able to discover the answer and then find him. I honestly thought you would not be able to do it. Of course, this was never my intention, but considering the amount of time it took for you to solve the riddles regarding a date and the goddess Iris, I never expected you to make it this far. I send my salutations to Mr. Blackwell.

You may have noticed that I altered the salutation; this is because you no longer seem to identify with your former self, Iris Nicole Van Rook. It is a pity, for you had a much nicer name as a Van Rook, but it is your decision to go by Lilianna "Lily" Rose Saturday.

I suppose by now you are wondering what the next clue is. Since I have digressed enough, here it is. You have two days. Good luck, Miss Saturday.

You have seen me before, and we will meet again. You have injured yourself many times in my sight. You escaped many times, but never again. My sweltering wrath will bear down on you.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

The letter truly shocks me. How in the name of stars could Anonymous know all that about me? I find extremely alarming. At first I was pretty okay with Anonymous knowing so much because I suspected xe is somehow familiar with the Secret Scientists, Mom or Dad, or WeirdWorld. But this, this is just too much. Coupled with the fact that Anonymous knew to leave the letter near Doyle's campsite in Burma, Anonymous is looking less and less like an ally and more and more like a enemy. Also, what in the world is the clue supposed to mean? Ugh. I can't believe I thought it would get easier after finding Doyle.

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So that's the end of Chapter 9! I hope you all enjoyed it! I'll have Chapter 10 posted as soon as I can, but that won't be for another couple of weeks, for I am going abroad. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	10. Any Ideas?

Hey, Butterflies! I'm hope you all enjoyed the last chapter! Here's Chapter 10: Any Ideas?

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm, suicide, and abuse mentioned.**

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December 13th. The date imprints itself in my mind. One day since I read the letter, one day left to find the answer. I have all the pieces, so why is the puzzle not coming together? It just doesn't make sense. How do Drew's firesword and Doyle relate to the last clue? What even is the last clue? I have so many questions and so few answers. I have hurt myself so many times, but I don't recall ever escaping from anywhere multiple times. Ugh. Why does this have to be so complicated? Why did any of this have to happen? Why couldn't I have just been a normal child? Why did I have to be the host for my powers? Why did Dad have to work as a mercenary and Mom as a Secret Scientist? Why did both Drew and Dad have to sacrifice themselves?

A tear slips down my face, and several more follow. The tears burn my dry eyes. In that moment I realize something. This year has not been a good year; this life has not been a good life. I have no friends left besides my family. Lonely doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. Lost, scared, confused, anguished, none of these words reach deep enough to truly describe how I feel. Lindsey was really my only friend as a child, but I was taken so young that I never got to make more friends. Munya, though sweet, is someone I see as almost a father figure than a friend. Naturally, the Secret Scientists aren't my friends, so that really leaves only the Saturdays. Only just recently have we heard from Ulraj, but we haven't heard from Wadi yet.

A hollowness fills my body and drowns me from the inside. This isn't a physical hollowness; rather it is an emotional hollowness that seems to always precede numbness. It's difficult to describe in words; when I try to explain it to myself, I say it is like taking a spoon and emptying an ice cream container until nothing but the container itself remains. It's a sad hollowness, the kind of hollowness that binds itself to an empty nest or abandoned building. It makes me feel like I'm not even human anymore. But what's far worse is that the hollowness never goes away, even when the other emotions or the numbness is present. It's like the other feelings and the numbness occupy only parts of my soul, and the hollowness occupies the rest. It's the kind of feeling that one can acknowledge but never understand without having experienced it oneself. That was why going to Dr. Cooper was so helpful; she understood how I felt, so she knew how to best treat me. I should probably start seeing her again; I don't remember why I ever stopped.

In that moment, I realize that my vision is blurry and that face is wet. I have been crying much harder than I thought. Yet somehow, I don't feel any better. I never seem to feel better after crying, and I can't figure out why. Really only cutting makes me feel better, but even that is losing its magic. What will happen once I can no longer find relief? Is that when I start taking drastic measures? Will that eventually lead to suicide? Truth be told, I don't want to die; I just want all this suffering to go away. My life has never been the idealized childhood, and the effects of that are obvious. Abuse does that to you. I can't help but to wonder how different I would be if I had had a normal upbringing. Would I be covered in self-inflicted scars? Would I have nightmares and flashbacks? Would I even be having this mental conversation with myself? I sigh and brush away my tears. No, I wouldn't. I'd be a normal, happy teenage girl living with my parents and anxiously awaiting the chance to be a big sister.

I stand up and step into the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and note my tear stained cheeks, my blotchy face, and my red and puffy eyes. I'm going to take a nap; hopefully that helps with the pain and will maybe provide some answers.

In my dream, I am watching a familiar scene take place. It is the wedding I imagined Mom and Dad had since I missed theirs. In my dream, they chose a beach as their venue, and Dad is beaming at the end of the aisle as he waits for Mom to start walking down it. Two by two the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk down the aisle and take their places on their respective sides. Then the wedding march begins, and everyone rises. They turn to look at Mom. She is stunning in her white chiffon dress. Her hair is down and curled, very different from her typical bun with bangs. Mom floats down the aisle, and my parents tear up at the sight of each other. They exchange their vows. The officiant declares them husband and wife, and they kiss. Then they walk up the aisle holding hands. Dad leans over to Mom and whispers something.

"I love you, Miranda Grey."

"I love you too, Leonidas Van Rook," Mom whispers back. Then they squeeze each other's hand.

I wake from my nap some time later. To have had such a pleasant dream made a difference, and I feel better. Yes, I am still sad and lonely, but the dream brings a warm feeling, and this feeling exists simultaneously with the other emotions. I get out of bed, fix my hair, and go to the living room to discuss the latest clue with the others. Doyle suggests we call Wadi, or Zak's girlfriend as he calls her, and Zak perks up a bit. I don't see any harm in doing so. Doc and I go to make the call, and to our surprise, Wadi answers. We explain the situation, and she says she will be there as soon as she can. Doc offers to pick her up to make the trip shorter. They agree, and Doc sets off. Meanwhile, we wait here in Seward. The others and I try to brainstorm possible answers, but we reach no conclusive answers. Stars, why is this so hard?

Doc and Wadi arrive a little while later. After a brief catching up session, we all get down to business. Well, almost all of us. Zak seems so excited to be with Wadi that he can barely sit still. I hand Wadi the letter with Anonymous's latest clue. She reads the clue and thinks for a moment.

"Well, it seems like Anonymous is hinting at heat when they mention their wrath. If I had to bet, it's somewhere like a desert, the Equator, or somewhere in the Southern Hemisphere. As for you injuring yourself, Lily, I assume Anonymous is talking about some kind of accident while escaping from somewhere. Sorry I couldn't help much more." But that was all we needed. I hug Wadi and thank her profusely for her help. The others seems confused. Rapidly, I explain to them my realization. However, I talk a little too quickly and fail to enunciate my words, so I end up getting blank stares from the others.

" _Vraiment_? Really?" I ask in disbelief. So I begin my revelation again and take my time explaining. I deliberately speak impossibly slow and open my mouth wide with each word just to annoy the others. I get a few irritated faces from the group. When I conclude my idea, the others seem to be complete understanding. The only catch: why would Drew be there?

We say goodbye to Wadi, but before she leaves, Zak gives Wadi a quick peck on the cheek. They both blush before Wadi returns the favor. Then Doc flies her home, and the rest of us stay behind to make a plan and try to piece together everything. We sit in the computer room for a long time and think. Komodo gets an idea.

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So that's the end of Chapter 10! Butterflies, that is so hard to believe. This story has just flown by. I have enjoyed writing it, and I hope you all enjoy reading it. I'll have Chapter 11 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading! I love you all so much! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. Bye!


	11. Back at It

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 11! I can't believe we are almost halfway through "Remember Your Promise!" It feels great! Anyways, here is Chapter 11: Back at It

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Child abuse mentioned.**

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When Doc returned from taking Wadi home, we all explained Komodo's idea. At first Doc was in denial, refusing to believe that we would have to return there, but he eventually accepted it. Now, we are on the way to Peru, and time is running out. With just a few hours and a day to solve this riddle, we are all silently hoping this is the right place.

The further southeast we go, the brighter it becomes, until it gets to be around sunset. I head into the cockpit; we should have arrived in Peru hours ago, but we are still above water. Something is definitely off.

In the cockpit, I see Doc at the controls of one seat, but the other one is empty. Seeing Doc alone in the cockpit lowers my mood, and I feel a familiar melancholy. I shove that aside and remind myself that we are about to be one step closer to finding Drew. But then I clear my throat in order to get Doc's attention. Doc notices me, but he keeps his eyes glued to the airspace around him. I ask Doc what is taking so long to get to Peru, and Doc puts the airship on auto pilot. He looks at me, his one good eye an impeccable window into the grief and sorrow he feels, and sighs. He explains that living in Alaska with a solar powered airship is not great when trying to keep fuel in the airship. Basically, most of the fuel was used up when he was transporting Wadi, and for the entire flight the airship has been trying to store energy and and use energy at the same time. Then Doc glances at the various gauges on the controls. Next, he turns back to me.

"Lily, tell the others we're stopping at the Galapagos Islands for the night. We don't have enough fuel to make it the rest of the way, so we'll have to wait until the morning." I leave the cockpit to go inform the others of our overnight pit stop. They protest for a brief moment, but they soon accept the fact. Doc lands the airship shortly thereafter, and we all get ready for bed. I stay up for while, staring out at the world around me. I think back on my life.

Being raised by Dad as definitely something I will always cherish. He as an amazing father, especially considering he was a single parent working as a mercenary. He always made time for me, and he always knew what I needed most. He always played with me, and he made me feel loved; I never doubted his love or his ability once growing up. But then Argost came. By then, my powers had been showing up in small bursts, but nothing ever really happened. Nevertheless, it was enough to attract the attention of that monster, and soon Argost had promised Dad that I would his protegé and that he would take care of me. Argost returned the January before my seventh adoption day, so I tell anyone who asks that I was seven.

Life with Argost was confusing for me. I had to learn a new language, new rules, and new powers. Argost made sure to assert his dominance in every way possible, and he made sure that I only used my powers when directed at a specific cryptid; I later learned this was because Argost himself was a cryptid. Argost was a strange guardian. He never did anything without a reason, but determining those reasons was difficult. He liked to make people suffer. For me, it was the mental, verbal, physical, and emotional abuse I received. For Munya, it was the cryptid DNA that was slowly killing him, and the time he had to go to Mom's lab in Antarctica to retrieve her piece of the Kur Stone; it was a reminder to Munya of what he had lost, even if he didn't remember it, and it also did other things too. It forced Mom to see what her brother had become the entire time she thought he was dead, it caused physical pain for Munya to be in the cold like that, and it reminded Munya that he could never be human, that he would always be a half cryptid mutant.

For Dad, it was having to see me and not be able to talk to me or interact with me. It was also sending Dad and Doyle to the Saturday's home, to remind Dad of his days with Drew and to remind him that his daughter's mother lived there with her family. And for Doyle, it was sending Doyle to the Saturday's house that one time, and later having Doyle confront his sister; it served as a reminder to Doyle of the family he lost.

There are other examples too, but there are simply too many list. The worst part of it all is that Munya and I, we loved Argost. We admired him and wanted nothing more than ensure his comfort and pleasure. Some could say it's like the Stockholm Syndrome, but instead of romantic love, it is an admiration love. I don't know what it is, but the guilt and the shame of knowing I called that monster my master and served him with pleasure sickens me every day. When added into my mix of other problems, is it any wonder, then, that I am so sick and so determined to make an early exit from the play we call life? I'm haunted by my past, scarred by my present, and condemned by my future.

The sound of something sharp scraping metal awakens me. _Zut!_ Dang, it's the last day to find Drew. Then I revert my attention back to the noise. I race to the nearest window and scan the surrounding area. I don't see anything at first, but a huge black lizard attacking the side of airship near the window startles me. Please tell me that is not a cryptid.

Zak, who has emerged from his room, has the same thought and disappears somewhere in the airship. When he returns, he has a white and orange device that looks like some kind of mobile device.

"What in the world is that?" I ask.

"It's a cryptidpedia. Lily." The awful sound of teeth on metal continues. "We need to figure out what's attacking." Zak races over to the window and scans the lizard that startled me only minutes before. By now everyone is awake and trying to figure what's going on. Zak looks through various entries in the cryptidpedia based off the scan he was able to do through the glass. "Guys, they're Galapagos Marine Iguanas," he explains. Doc gets a confused look on his face.

"What?! Those live on the coast, not this far inland! And they eat algae, not airships!" Zak shrugs. Doyle, Fisk, Zon, and Komodo begin making a ruckus about how we need to leave, but when Doc looks at the fuel guage, he shakes his head. We still have a few more hours to go.

"Fine! We just need to get these iguanas to stop attacking the airship!" Doyle shouts. In that moment, an idea dawns on both Zak and Fisk, They make a plan and race out of the airship before anyone can stop them. I hear Doc swear some under his breath, and he rarely swears.

Outside Zak is sitting on Fisk's shoulders and trying to get a connection with the iguanas. From what I can see, he is able to make connections quickly, but he struggles to hold the connections. I'm not sure if that is because Zak is a little rusty with his Kur powers or if the iguanas are not fully cryptids, but Zak needs to get his game on. I watch Zak for a while longer, and he appears to be having no more luck than when he began. Then a thought occurs to me. If I have the powers of Ningirama, who was the Sumerian god of healing and protection from snakes, I wonder if that protection extends into all reptiles. It's worth a shot, so I head outside to help Zak.

The iguanas are unrelenting in their attack. I wish I knew why they are attacking; none of the information we found on them show any kind of aggressive behavior to this magnitude. Zak sees me and starts trying to convince me to go back in the airship.

"I've got it!" he yells.

"Sure you do, Zak. I suppose you've figured out to make them stop attacking the airship, then." The mockery is evident in my voice, at least I hope it is. Then I approach one of the iguanas. I try to keep calm and approach the iguana with reverence and calm, but inside my heart is pounding. I have never used these powers before, and I'm quite sure how to use them. I'm hoping that what I'm doing is the right way to use them.

The iguana looks at me, but I can't figure out if that's good or bad. It makes a noise, and I can make out the word Ningirama. Maybe the iguana actually said the name, or maybe it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I step closer to the iguana. It makes the same noise as before. Surely it is saying Ningirama.

"Why are you attacking?" I ask. The iguana snaps at me; I draw back but ask again.

"You are not Ningirama," it hisses.

"No, I'm not, but I have his powers. Why are you attacking?" I still get no answer to my question. A silence falls between us. "Can you tell me why I'm able to communicate with you since I am neither Ningirama nor Kur?" The iguana looks at me.

"Ningirama had the ability to communicate with all reptiles as part of his power to protect from snakes. Since you have his power, you have a dash of the ability, but that ability was truly bound to his soul, as his powers should have been." I nod. This just got even more confusing.

"Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, would you all please stop attacking our airship? We will gladly help you in any way we can." The iguana tells the others to stop attacking, and he reveals that they somehow ended up very far away from their home on the shore. I tell the Saturdays, and we help the iguanas return to their home. Then we are on our way to Peru once more.

Stars I hope Drew is there.

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So that's the end of Chapter 11! It was a little longer than normal, but I hope you all enjoyed it! I'll have Chapter 12 up as soon as I can. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	12. Shocked

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 12! I can't believe next chapter is the halfway point. Stars, it feels weird. Anyways, here's Chapter 12: Shocked

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned, a lot. Don't read this chapter if you're triggered by self harm. Just skip to the last sentence before the bottom horizontal line for your own safety.**

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Doc lands the airship just outside of a Peruvian village. It is not yet dark, but since we are close to the equator, and it is early evening, I am not surprised. We have to get to Dr. Beeman's lab before nightfalls. Time's up at midnight, so we have to move fast. It's a fairly long hike to the mountains around the lab, and then we'll have to scale the mountains. If we weren't trying to be covert while doing this, we would just waltz right up to Dr. Beeman and demands to know where Drew is. Unfortunately, we are trying to avoid dealing with the Secret Scientists as long as possible, so we have to do this the stealthy way.

Everyone files out of the airship, well almost everyone. Komodo has to stay behind in order to keep the airship invisible. Normally, both he and I would object to this, but we both understand that we haven't any time to waste arguing. I run back inside the airship, give my beloved Komodo a quick hug, and go back outside so Doc can brief each of us on what to do. We created a plan on our way here, but now that we are actually here and about to do this, I am uncertain about the plan. Doc reassures me and tells me that we will be fine so long as we stick to the plan. I nod and brace myself for what we will find. For all we know, Drew could be locked in the same room where Dr. Beeman held us earlier this year, and she could be emaciated. Or she could be perfectly healthy in the physical sense but have been driven mad by four months of whatever they put her through. Stars, just thinking about it ties my stomach in knots. Do I really want to go through with this? Is this really what I want? I've gone most of my life without a mother, so why am I so desperate to get this one back? It's not like I even knew who she was before the War.

I blink back my tears. I am being so selfish right now, but that's not what I need right now. I need to focus on our goal. The others need Drew, and this is their only shot at finding her. Still, part of me dreads the moment when everyone will be reunited with Drew, but I will still be waiting to be reunited with my parents, with Mom. Tears escape my eyes and burn my skin. After all of this, they will go back to being a big happy family, but I won't get that. My dad was murdered back in May, and my mom is currently off the grid. My closest friend and supposed uncle is stars-knows-where. My family is spread out, but I doubt we will ever be together again. I hate the Saturdays for being so perfect, so untouched by the catastrophes around them. Yes, Drew and Doyle did lose their parents, and yes, Drew lost two children the night Zak, our two stillborn siblings, and I were born. Yes, the War ripped Zak from them for a few minutes, and yes Zak died at Dr. Beeman's hands, but he came back. Stars, I swear their family is protected from all deep misfortune, but at what cost? Is my suffering the price for their inability to truly suffer? I can't do this. They need to know what it feels like to lose someone they love and know that they will never have them back. They need to know what it feels like to be in a constant state of mourning a loss others have forgotten. The last time I spoke to my dad was the December before I turned seven. At least the Saturdays got to talk to Drew moments before she went away.

By now, tears are pouring out of my eyes and dripping down and off my face. I wipe them away before anyone sees them. No one needs to know how upset this makes me. They'll just make me stay in the airship and wait. Then I notice a urge swelling and growing. Oh stars no. Not here, not now. Nevertheless, the urge grows until it consumes me. But I have nothing to cut with and no time to do it. I glance around and see some sharp rocks. Those could suffice, but someone would notice me, so I opt not to take one. Instead I turn my attention back to Doc, who is reviewing the plan. Basically, we will start out as one team and divide up slowly until we are all on our own, although that is not supposed to happen until after we break into the compound. After that, we start looking any and everywhere for Drew, while also being careful not to get caught.

Doc looks at me and asks if I'm okay. I nod and tell him I'm ready when they are. The others say that they're ready, so we start off. The climb up the mountain around the lab is not as difficult as we imagined, so we start breaking into teams sooner than we had originally planned. Doyle takes Fisk and Zon while Doc takes Zak and me. We stop at the top of the mountain and discuss our plan once more. Zak will take the back, near the pool of water Dr. Beeman has, Doc will go the right of side the lab, and I will go straight from wherever we end up. I nod, unsurely. Why are my directions so vague?

At the bottom of the mountain, Zak, Doc, and I split up. Zak goes left towards the back, and Doc goes right. I head straight until I realize that I am about to walk up to the front the door. I retreat back to where we split up and observe the door from there. Nobody comes in or out, but I don't know if that is normal or not. I assume it is, but I've learned that assumptions can be very dangerous. Stars, look at Drew. She assumed Dr. Beeman had only one weapon when she challenged him to a duel that fateful day, and because of that assumption, we are here trying to find her.

I don't know why, but I glance to my right for some reason. I see Doc peering intently at something. I catch a glimpse of what he sees. It looks like a long ponytail in a familiar color, a white lab coat, and a commanding yet somewhat short posture. I look to Doc in confusion, but he doesn't see me. Slowly, I make my way closer to Doc. There is still quiet a bit of distance between Doc and me when I hear a voice I had hoped never to hear again. I look up from where I'm hiding and almost go into shock. No. _Non. Je ne peux pas croire ça._ I can't believe it. This isn't true. I'm asleep in my bed, and this is all just a dream, right? I look up again. No, it's real. It's definitely real.

I turn to look over to Doc. He must have already seen it because he has backed away and turned his back. I want to race over there to comfort him, but it is a sure way to get caught, and I'm in too much shock myself to process it. Instead, I start crawling over to Doc, and when I get to him, I tell him we need to go. He nods, so we make our way to the meeting place. Zak is already there, and we make our way back to the airship in silence. When we arrive at the invisible airship, the others come and greet us. Fisk has plenty of questions as first, but he falls silent when he sees Doc's face. Then we all go to our separate spaces for a while. Stars know we need it.

In my bathroom, I stare blankly at my razor blades. Not even cutting can help me know. Sobbing and weeping with all my being, I curl myself into a little ball. I make sure to make a little noise as possible as I cry. Before long, I find that my arms are burning and feel raw. I take a look through my tears; I have scratched my skin raw. It doesn't do much to offer a release, but I continue to scratch. Self harm has become much more than a coping mechanism. It has become who I am. I continue sobbing. It has become all I have left to hold on to. The problem is I don't want to hold on to it.

Later this evening, Doc calls us all into the kitchen; I am not beginning to associate the kitchen with bad news. He tells the others what he saw, and he confirms my fear.

"Drew is," Doc sighs, "no longer with us. She's working for Dr. Beeman."

* * *

I'm evil. I'm sorry. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll have Chapter 13 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	13. L' Appel du Vide

Hey, Butterflies. I'm back with Chapter 13. Ah, thirteen, quite the unlucky number for some, and considering what happened last chapter, it's fair to call thirteen unlucky. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy the chapter. This actually might not be the halfway point, but we'll see. Here's Chapter 13: _L'Appel du Vide_

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts and actions in this chapter! Reader discretion advised!**

* * *

How? How in the world did this happen? Drew, the woman who has kept this family together through thick and thin, is working for the man who tried to tear this family apart at all costs. None of this even makes sense! For starters, how did Drew survive being hit with a vaporizing weapon? Second, how on Earth did Drew end up in a different hemisphere as her firesword, and how did the firesword even survive? I'm starting to think that maybe Dr. Beeman's weapon was a teleporting device rather than a vaporizing weapon.

Staring up at the ceiling, I ask such questions and make such speculations. I suppose a true scientist would do more than speculate, perhaps even making hypotheses or theories, but I am no true scientist. Maybe Dr. Beeman's vaporizing weapon wasn't a vaporizer at all. It might have been a teleporter, which would explain why both Drew and her firesword survived the fight. And maybe Dr. Beeman wanted Drew to be without her firesword, so he sent it to a different hemisphere. That would make sense. Drew's strongest with her firesword, so in separating the two, he would have been better able to convince Drew to join him. As I speculate, things start to fall together. However, I can't seem to figure out why Drew would join Dr. Beeman. She is so stubborn and set in her ways. It doesn't add up that she would go from trying to protect us from him to now helping him track us down.

My thoughts lead me to a window. The airship is currently recharging in the air, so we're not going anywhere. My heart beats faster. A sudden urge I am unfamiliar with washes over me. Leap, it says. Open the cargo door and leap. No one will miss you, and all your pain will be over. Leap. I pull away from the window. What the hell was that? Then I look out at the window. I could very well leap out of the airship. No one is paying attention, and I doubt anyone would notice. And we're so high up that I'd be dead before I even hit the ground. No more pain, no more suffering, no more hauntings. I could be free. Yes, I understand that call. In French, it's called _l'appel du vide_ , meaning the call of the void. Suddenly that name makes sense. Maybe I should listen to the call. It would save the Saturdays a world of pain later on. Of course, at first there will be a lot of pain, but after the initial pain, it'll be okay. I will simply cease to exist in their world. Yes, I think I will listen to that call.

I find myself at the cargo door, staring intently at it. It's closed very tightly, and I know that opening it will alert Doc via his remote control. But I just want to end it. I'm so sick of being sick and struggling. I'm so tired of tragedy striking wherever I go and whomever I touch. I just need to go away. Only then can the world finally be safe. I'm not meant to stop Kur; Zak was doing an excellent job of keeping Kur under control. They never needed me to get involved. Hell, they never knew I existed, and they weren't looking for me. I don't even know how my powers could have stopped Kur. I just simply need to stop existing. I brush a tear away from my eye. If I really cared about the Saturdays, or anybody really, this wouldn't even be a question. I would do it without a second thought. I guess I'm just too selfish to put the needs of others first.

My finger is millimeters away from the button that will open the cargo door when I hear Zak's voice call my name. I shut my eyes and try to block out his voice. I don't want to do this, but I have to. Something grabs my hand and turns me around so that my back is to the button. The next thing I know Zak has me in a hug. I'm crying and getting his shoulder wet in the process, but he doesn't care. He just lets me cry. I think this is the only time, besides in the weeks following Drew's "death" when Zak has let me cry like this. Normally, he'd tell me to pull myself together in that annoying brother sort of way. When he finally releases me from the hug, he looks me square in the eyes. There is fear and relief in them. What was I thinking?

"I'm so sorry, Zak. I-I don't know what came over me. I-"

"You're okay, Lily. You're okay. You didn't actually do it. You're safe now." I can't tell if he is saying this to comfort me or himself, but his words are powerful. They comfort me and remind me that the Saturdays do care about me, yet his words also remind of the horrible crime I was about to commit against the Saturdays. Nevertheless, Zak walks with me back the living room. He looks at Komodo, and I assume that Zak is telepathically telling Komodo not to let me out of his sight for the rest of my life. Now that it's over, I can't believe I almost did that to the Saturdays.

"Hey, Zak?" I ask a while later.

"Yeah, Lily?"

"How'd you know I was about to jump?"

"I was feeling the same way, and when nobody had seen you for a while, I figured you might be in the loading area just thinking. I never imagined that you'd actually be on the verge of opening it."

"I'm sorry, Zak. I'm glad you found me when you did."

"Yeah, me too." Zak pushes some of his white hair out of his face as he leans back in his chair. A silence falls between us, and we let it sit with us for a good few minutes. It's nice to be able to sit in a room together and not have to say a word. I'm glad Zak's in my life. And I'm glad Zak stopped me from ending my life.

"Hey, Zak?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Lily."

* * *

So that's the end of Chapter 13. I know that got really dark and cynical really quickly. I'm sorry for that (and that this chapter was shorter than normal). Just a quick PSA before I go: feeling hopeless and/or helpless is a part of life. It's unfortunate, and I hate that anyone has to feel that way. But, as seen with Lily, suicidal thoughts can come from anything. If you're feeling suicidal or having thoughts about hurting yourself or others, please let somebody know. I've been in your shoes, and I understand it's hard, not just to admit you have a problem, but also to tell someone who cares about you. Trust me, it gets better, but hurting yourself or others can leave you with guilt and urges, and these urges are incredibly hard to defeat. Suicide and self harm are not healthy solutions, and they can have effects far worse than your current situation. Please, ask for help. You're going to be okay, I promise, but please don't end your life. You can do so much with your life. I know I'm just a faceless name on the internet, but please, do yourself a favor and take care of yourself. If you can't see value in your life or any reason to keep living, then stay alive for me. You are very dear to me, no matter what you've done, doing, or will do, and no matter what your struggle is. I love you to the very depth of my heart. Please, don't give up.


	14. Family Meeting

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 14! I hope the last chapter wasn't too dark, but I did mean what I said at the end. Life is a rich and wonderful experience, and I hate to see people cut theirs short. On a different note, here's Chapter 14: Family Meeting

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts and actions mentioned.**

* * *

It has been two days since we found Drew, but so far we have heard nothing from Anonymous. I am starting to think that xe wants us to figure out Drew's reason for faking her death on our own. But how? I'm not even sure xe gave us enough information to even get us started. We have Doyle, the firesword, and of course what we saw. But how do those add together to create a reason? Unless of course, Anonymous wants us to meet with Drew, which I can guarantee Dr. Beeman is not going to allow. I suppose that we are on our own to answer the question of why.

Zak has not let me be alone for even a second since yesterday. If he himself isn't watching me, then Komodo is. Since neither can follow me into the bathroom, they have set a time limit for how long I can be in there. If I go over, let's just say they had better hope I'm simply washing my hands. Thankfully that hasn't been an issue yet, and I would like to leave it that way. I'm glad that Zak cares so much about me as to make sure I don't do anything rash, but I hate to impose on him like that. Why did he have to find me? I feel like such a waste of time, energy, and resources. Why couldn't I have just jumped?

Then I realize what I am thinking. What in the world? Where did those thoughts come from? I just thinking about how grateful I was that Zak found me when he did, even though he might be overprotective right now. How did I end up wishing I had jumped from the airship? Maybe I do need Zak and Komodo's supervision for a while. I'm not so sure I can trust myself anymore.

"Lily, we're having a family meeting in the living room," Fisk says as he pokes his head in my bedroom. I thank him and get up to go attend the family meeting. Everyone is there, so I assume we'll be discussing how to get Drew back. Doyle stays silent throughout most of the meeting, only providing his input when it's forced out of him. He seems to no longer care. I can't say that I blame him. All of a sudden, he perks up, as if a plausible theory just popped into his head.

"Guys, Drew's working for Beeman, right?" We all nod. "She's been separated from her preferred weapon and her family for months, so she isn't really in a situation to fight back. If I wanted access to one of the best doctors in the world, one who also happens to have been very _influential_ in my life and best friends with my former employee, that's how I'd do it. I'd make it look like she died so that her family wouldn't try to find her, and I would also take away her preferred weapon and keep her away from weapons in general. Drew is, for lack of a better word, foolish enough to get herself into unpleasant situations if it means protecting those she cares about. I can't say why Beeman has taken such an interest in Drew, but I can say that he's using her to get to someone." The room is silent as Doyle finishes his thoughts. I can't speak for the others, but I hadn't ever thought of it like that. Dr. Beeman is using Drew? That makes a lot of sense now. My stars, Doyle solved it! All those clues make sense now. The firesword was to show that Drew is still alive and without her go-to weapon. Doyle is her brother, so it makes sense that he would know details about Drew that we don't know, and he can also provide new points of view we hadn't seen before. Anonymous was doing more than leading us to Drew; xe was telling us why Drew is working for Dr. Beeman. We all thank Doyle for his revelation, even Doc. Then Zon asks if maybe we can try to meet with Drew. We fall silent. It wouldn't hurt to try.

Doc disappears into the computer room. When he returns a few minutes later, he seems almost happy but very worried. He explains that we can meet with Drew later today, but it'll be difficult to keep Dr. Beeman from noticing.

We try to act as nonchalant as we can as we all sit down at a back table in a small restaurant. We're a good distance away from Dr. Beeman's lab, so we should be safe, and Drew should be arriving any moment now. The door to the restaurant opens, and a woman with long platinum blonde hair walks in. She has on a light shirt and pants. When she reaches our table, we looks around and takes a seat. It's Drew. We all smile, and Fisk goes in for a hug, but Drew stops him.

"I'm sorry, Fiskerton. I wish I could hug you all too, but we need to avoid drawing attention to ourselves." Drew looks at all of us. "As best as we can," she adds. We talk a little bit, but it's only small talk. I wish somebody would just start a deep conversation.

"Drew, can I ask you a question?" I ask. Drew seems taken aback by my using her first name instead of calling her "Mom." I forgot I had called her my mom five months ago. Oops.

"Of course, Iris," she says. I forgot she doesn't know I go by Lily now either. I quickly explain that before asking my question.

"What does Dr. Beeman have you do at his lab?" The others seem both relieved and appalled by my question, but somebody had to ask. Drew takes a deep breath and explains that she doesn't really know what she's doing. Dr. Beeman has her do lots of little things, but he never tells her what his grand scheme is. Then Drew flashes us a sneaky smile before explaining that she has been keeping a secret log of all the tasks Dr. Beeman has her do. She's still not 100 percent certain on his final goal, but Drew is able to tell us that it appears that is looking for something. I think back of Anonymous's letters. Xe had us find Drew first, and we start our search for Mom soon. What if the order wasn't random?

"Lily, are you okay?" Drew asks. I must have quite the expression on my face.

"Guys, Dr. Beeman isn't looking for something. He's looking for some _one_. He's looking for Mom!"

* * *

So that's the end of Chapter 14! I know this one's short too, but I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all!


	15. Next

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 15! I hope you all enjoyed the previous chapter! Sorry I don't have much else to say. Here's Chapter 15: Next

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Child abuse mentioned in passing.**

* * *

I stare up at the ceiling of my room back in Seward, unable to sleep. I just can't seem to shake Drew's face from my mind. She looked so hurt and betrayed when I called Miranda "Mom." I hadn't meant to hurt her, honestly. I had just forgotten how out of the loop Drew was- and still is. So much has changed over the past four months, and I guess Drew was clinging to a hope that not much had changed with our family. But how could not much have changed? We thought she died. We all have dealt with grief, and, at least for a couple of us, depression. I had to make some tough calls that the others just wouldn't have understood. Leonidas was my daddy. He raised me and was the only family I had for my childhood. After finding out that Dad married Miranda, I knew who she had to be to me. She was the woman I loved when I was younger. Heck, she even adopted me after she and Dad married. She is my mom. I am a Van Rook.

But Drew. She's my birth mother. She brought me into this world, with help from Doc, but still. But she and Doc chose to put me up for adoption- at least from what I've pieced together considering the many different stories I've gotten. They were never a part of my life until this past May. Drew was so sweet to welcome me and take care of me. I have no doubts as to why I called her "Mom" not too long ago. But she can never make up for what was missed. She never saw me as a child so young and carefree. She never saw me as anything other than a newborn infant and an abused teenager. I don't blame her for that, but I just can't bring myself to call her "Mom" anymore. I may be a Saturday in blood, but I will never truly be a Saturday. I go by Lily with the Saturdays because it helps me to remember that Lilianna is my birth name, given to me by a family I will never really be a part of. I am not Lily; I am Iris, but I choose to go by Lily when I'm with the people who named me Lilianna. To a normal person, it doesn't make much sense, but it doesn't have to. It works for me, and I'm the one who has to deal with the repercussions of my choices.

Annoyed with myself for not being able to sleep, I climb out of bed and head to kitchen. There, I grab a glass of water for myself and sit down at the table. The house is dead silent except for the low hum of Doyle's fan. I'm surprised that I can hear it all the way in the kitchen, so I can only imagine how loud it is in his room. I wonder how he doesn't freeze considering it's December in Alaska and that he's using a fan. Oh well. Whatever helps him sleep, I suppose. Then I look all around me. The darkness from the outside seems to seep into the dark house and converge to create a vast, unending darkness. It seems to consume anything and everything in its way. Sitting at the table, alone and in the darkness, makes me realize just how small I really am. I am only one person in a small town out of seven billion on a whole planet. It puts everything into perspective suddenly. At first it terrifies me, but then I realize that there is a comfort in knowing how insignificant I am. If I make a mistake, it won't end the world. Yes, there will be repercussions, but the ripple will be very small, only touching a few. With this realization, there comes almost a relief and a release. I don't have to be perfect; I never did. I'm one human, a single member of a species destined to fail and make mistakes. I'm okay, and I'm free to be human..

I return to my room, where I lie awake for several more hours. Eventually, I fall asleep and sleep for a while. When I wake up, it is sunrise, which means it is late morning or early afternoon. Without even glancing at my clock, I race to get ready for the day. Maybe Anonymous has given us a clue to finding Mom. I really hope xe has. I really want to find her.

The paper is stiff in my hands. Suddenly, I'm unsure if I really want to open the letter. But I have to. It's the only way to find Mom. Finding Drew was incredible, and I'm so glad Anonymous led us to her, but I need to know where Mom is. I need to know that she's safe. Plus, I just miss her. She left without a goodbye, just absconded into the night. No note, nothing. I've been worried about her, even if I haven't shown it. Taking a deep breath, I slide my thumb into the right corner of the envelope's seal. Then I carefully tear the top and pull out the paper. It reads:

Dear Ms. Van Rook, December 17

I assume that addressing you by your adopted name is appropriate, seeing as to how you are now searching for your adoptive mother. Before we begin, however, let me congratulate you on finding Dr. Saturday. I must say, you quite impressed me. I was certain that you would not succeed, but you pulled through in the end.

As for Dr. Grey, I'll give you a couple of warnings regarding finding her. Remember, you are permitted to give up at any time. All you have to do is fail to decipher the clue. That being said, your first warning is that you will have only one day from the time you read the clue to decipher it; failure means giving up. Second, I cannot guarantee Dr. Grey will accept your finding her as warmly as Dr. Saturday did; be prepared for anything.

Here is your clue: Black and white are opposites, and Dr. Miranda Grey is known by her opposite.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

The letter is unsettling and rather alarming to read. Only one day? How in the world does Anonymous expect us to figure this one out in only one day? I suppose that I'll have to consult the others. Hopefully they have some ideas. Hopefully.

* * *

So that's the end of Chapter 15! I know it was a short; most likely from this chapter onward, the chapters will be somewhat short. I hope you enjoy reading them regardless of their length. Let me know what you all think of the story. Thank you all so much for reading! I love you all so much! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review!


	16. On the Doorstep

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 16! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter! So, without further adieu, here's Chapter 16: On the Doorstep

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and verbal abuse mentioned.**

* * *

Today is the day. We have to let Anonymous know our answer by the end of the day today. I still have no ideas, and the others are at just as much of a loss as I am. What in the world could the clue possibly mean? How is Mom known by her opposite? She and her sister are opposites, so she might be using her sister's name, but I doubt that is what Anonymous means. Anonymous, this is so unfair! The clues for finding Drew were so much easier, and we had longer to figure them out. One day is not enough, especially considering the fact that there is nothing substantial in this clue. I know I should be grateful for Anonymous's help, but I am very annoyed with xe right now.

Leaning my head back against my headboard, I close my eyes and try to figure out what the clue means. Mom is known by her opposite. Her opposite what? Does she have an alter ego I don't know about? Is she secretly a vigilante who seeks to rid the world of evil? I sigh. If nothing else, this clue has opened my eyes to the fact that I actually know very little about Mom. I know only what I can recall from my early years, what was in her file at WeirdWorld, what others have told me, and what she has told me. Truthfully, though, most of the information has been the same. I really wish I had not spent nearly half my life at WeirdWorld. I missed so much because of it. I missed having a mom. I missed spending time with my parents. I missed friendships and life lessons. Most of all, I missed a healthy environment to grow and develop in. For six years, I was a prisoner, a servant, a tool- all for any evil creature. I was abused emotionally, physically, and verbally by a vile monster. I was robbed of my childhood by that wicked beast. And I will _never_ recover from those six years no matter what I try. I have PTSD because of those six years, and there is no cure for that. For the rest of my life, I will battle this mental illness among others. I swallow. I _have to_ find Mom.

Komodo sits with me by the window overlooking the courtyard. Snow covers the ground in a thick blanket of white. I can see Fisk, Zak, and Zon playing outside. They appear to be having fun. I smile weakly. What must that be like? Being carefree and happy? They all seem so innocent. They don't know what it's like to grow up too fast, to be so cynical about everything. Zak may have some understanding from the war, but he will never truly be able to understand. I may be almost fourteen years old, but I am much older than that mentally. I have seen things, experienced things, known things that no one should ever have to endure. Argost owes me a great debt. But he can never repay it. How do you return a childhood to someone? How do you undo six years of abuse? How do you take away someone's PTSD? You can't.

I feel Komodo's tail wrap about my leg. I look down at him and rub his head. He makes a low growl-like sound to let me know he's happy. I'm not sure if he knows this, but I can feel us growing apart. I don't want it to happen, but there is nothing I can do about it. I am slowly losing my one confidant, and it is a terrible feeling. But I have to be strong, if not for me than for Komodo. All of a sudden. Komodo growls in a rather hostile manner. I look out at the courtyard and see not only that others have come inside but also that a tall figure in a dark purple coat is standing at the gate to the courtyard. Munya?

Racing out to the gate, I throw it open and look at the man before me. It is in fact Munya. Overjoyed, I throw my arms around him and hug him. He returns the hug. Then we head inside the house together. The others are not happy to see Munya, but they do their best to hide it, probably for my sake. Munya and I do a fair amount of catching up. He tells me that he has been busy researching Derek Grey and that he is almost certain that Derek is who he used to be. Munya says that he would like to have a DNA test done to confirm it but is unsure how it would work given the fact that Argost injected him with Papuan Giant Spider DNA. I nod sympathetically.

"Munya," I start, "if you really were Derek Grey, that would mean you're related to Dr. Grey, right?" Munya nodded. "You'd be her brother." Again he nods. "Munya, do you think you could help us with something?"

"What is it, Lily?"

"We're trying to find Mom, and we got a letter from an anonymous person with a clue about where Mom is. The problem is, we have no idea what the clue means. Do you think you can help?" Munya nods, so I run to my room and grab the letter before returning to the living room. Munya reads it carefully and thinks for a moment.

"Her name. People are known by their names. Miranda has probably started using an alias if she hasn't changed her name. I can't help much in the way of first names, but the opposite of gray is bright or colorful. The closest last name I can think of to either of those is Albright." A lightbulb suddenly goes off in my head. Of course!

"Thank you, Munya!"

" _De rien, ma fille_. You're welcome, my girl." I start writing my thoughts down on a piece of scrap paper. "Lily, if Miranda is my sister and your adopted mom, doesn't that make you my niece?" I nod.

" _Oui, mon oncle_. Yes, my uncle." Then I wrap up my ideas and show them to Munya. He looks them over. Mom's name is Miranda, which means worthy or admirable. The opposite of those, generally speaking, is unworthy. Mom also knows some French and that I'm fluent in the language while Dr. Beeman speaks Spanish instead of French. Likewise, in history, the English and French have not gotten along at times, but they have also allied together. It makes sense that Mom would choose a French name. Of course, the simplest way to combine both the opposite of her name's meaning and French is to translate unworthy into French. That is the word _indigne_ , which sounds like a woman's name.

"Indigne Albright?" Munya asks. I nod.

"I think this might be Mom's new identity."

* * *

That concludes Chapter 16! I hope you all were able to follow Lily's thought process in trying to figure out the clue. It seems scattered, but I hope it at least made some sense. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and I'll have Chapter 17 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading! You all mean the world to me! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you!


	17. Impressed

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 17! I hope that last chapter was fairly easy to follow, and I hope you all don't mind the surprise visit from Munya. Anyways, here's Chapter 17: Impressed

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned.**

* * *

The paper bounces off my leg with each step. I have to get inside before I freeze my tail off. The wind burns my face and makes my eyes water. Why don't I just use my powers to make this go away? Oh yeah, I can do that. No, I need to try not to use my powers. If Anonymous knows as much as xe has let on, I need to keep everything _unnatural_ about me quiet. I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of my stupid powers. To be honest, it's not really worth it to try and get my powers. Yes, they make some things easier, but in reality, they are more a nuisance than anything else. They don't really serve much purpose, either. Even in the original Kur story, the hosts of my powers died before Kur fell; my powers never played a part in the fall of Kur, so I can't understand where this idea of me stopping Kur with my powers came from. Stars, I wish people had just left the dang Kur Stone in the ground, and I wish Doc and Drew had never even gone to Iraq.

In the house, I shake the snow from my boots and hang my coat up to dry. Then I pull the paper out from my pants pocket and retreat to the living room. Most everyone is there, waiting to hear if I've received any news from Anonymous. Munya left last night, much to my dismay, but I understand that he needs to keep moving. He is not exactly a welcome sight in some places. He had promised to return, however, so I feel better. The others, I can tell, struggle to understand my attachment to him. What they don't realize is that he took care of me as best as he could at WeirdWorld and became like a father figure to me. He was my friend, mentor, and role model for those six years, and now that those days are over, I am very protective of him. He, unlike me, is a grown man and expected to support himself, but I worry about him. I fear he may end up working for one of Argost's "partners" instead of starting a life of his own. And that's the last thing I ever want for him. I wonder if Mom will help him out if he does turn out to be her brother.

Unfolding the paper, I pull the pencil out from behind my ear. I smooth the paper out on the coffee table and begin to sketch. I've never been a big artist, but I figured now is as a good a time to learn as ever, and I figured it's a better coping mechanism than cutting. Everyone tries to act nonchalant, but I can tell they are trying to see what I'm drawing. It's not very good, but it's supposed to be the front gate. I roll my eyes at the group. I see Komodo and Zak eyeing my sketch and me carefully. Although they have eased up on their constant supervision of me, I know they worry about me. I can't say that I blame them. I wouldn't let me out of my sight if I were they. I know they are looking to see if my sketch has any warning signs that they need to see. I grab the paper and pass it around the group. Once the two are able to get a good look at it and decide that there is nothing alarming about the picture, they had it back to me.

"Anything from Anonymous, Lily?" Doc asks.

"No, not yet." Just then I take a good look at my sketch. There's writing on the other side. Alarmed, I flip the paper over. It's a note. "Actually, Doc, I take that back. I think we just got word." The note reads:

Dear Ms. Van Rook, December 19

I am impressed. You actually came up with the answer to the last clue. Of course, I know exactly how you did it, but I am impressed nonetheless. What does not impress me, however, is the fact that not a single one of you Saturdays has bothered to look up Indigne Albright before now. It certainly would have made my job much easier. Alas, you all were so incompetent, so here is your next clue. You have twenty-four hours. _Bonne chance_.

Flying far and wide, this city's airport is so festive that it can be seen from a mile high. This falls south of a golden dome with a lady atop. Find this city, find Indigne.

Sincerely,

Anonymous

I read over the note. Since when does Anonymous speak French? Oh well. I have bigger problems. I have no idea what city xe is talking about. Granted, I haven't seen many cities, but the clue is no help to me. I read the clue out loud to the others, and they think for a moment. There are a few suggestions, but no one can agree on anything. Doyle suggests looking up the name Indigne Albright into the computer, which seems like the most logical thing to do right now; plus Anonymous called us out on not having done so already, so now we kind of have to.

Komodo follows me into the computer room and helps me get set up. Once I have the search engine pulled up, I type in Mom's alias. It takes the search engine a few seconds to load the results. There are not that many, but there are definitely enough to make my life difficult. I write down all the results and shut the computer down. Then I return to the living the room and share the results with the others.

By the end of the afternoon, we have our prime candidate. We decide to spend the night at home and head out early in the morning. Doc called this Indigne's work and left a message asking to meet with her tomorrow. I take a deep breath. I really hope this is the right Indigne Albright. _Je manque vraiment ma mère._ I really miss my mom.

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 17! Where do you all think Anonymous is sending the Saturdays? Let me know in the reviews! Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	18. Questions

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 18! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter! Now we find out where Anonymous has sent the Saturdays! Here's Chapter 18: Questions

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

* * *

The December air blows my hair out of my face. I never did get it cut; maybe I can have Fisk do that later. Right now, our main concern should be finding Mom. If I remember correctly, we are looking for the Garick School of Ballet in Atlanta, but I have no clue where in the city that is. Doc calls all of over and tells us that we cannot get separated. Atlanta, he tells us, is a large and busy city that isn't exactly known for being home to the world's nicest people, Doyle asks if any place is known for being home to the world' nicest people, which earns him a glare from Doc. I admire how Doyle has stuck around even though we already found Drew, I appreciate it. Note to self: tell Doyle that I appreciate him staying with us. I don't think he hears that enough.

As a family- minus the cryptids who stayed in the airship, we walk the streets of Atlanta according to our GPS, and Doc and Doyle keep Zak and me in their eyesight at all times. I wonder why that is, but I dare not ask. I'll probably be able to find something about it on the internet later anyways.

A very long walk later, we approach a nice looking building and walk in. The receptionist asks what she can do for us. Doc says he's here to meet with Ballet Mistress Indigne Albright. The receptionist checks over some dates and shakes her head, saying she must have accidentally put him down for next week and that Indigne has already gone home for her winter break. Doc nods and thanks the receptionist. She asks if he wants to reschedule his meeting to after the break, and he says no. Then we head out and make our way to the airship.

Back on the airship, Komodo and I are in the computer room, and we are talking as I look up Ballet Mistress Indigne Albright at the Garick School of Ballet. No home address or phone number is given for obvious reasons, but I am able to find her work email. I open up a draft and type of a quick email. Komodo reads over it and offers some edits, although I struggle to understand a good portion of what he says; I really need to talk to Zak to see if there is anything I can do to get my connection with Komodo back. Once I proofread and edit the email, I send it and hope that Indigne checks her work email. Then we leave the computer room and join the others for a movie night.

As we are all gathered in the living room to watch a movie, I realize that this is our first time ever doing this since I arrived back in May. I saw the Saturdays together everyday, but I've never known of them doing anything like this before. I shouldn't wish away the moment, though. I sit down on the floor with Zak and Komodo and watch the movie. I don't think I've seen this one, so I'm excited to watch it.

After the movie, I hurry back to the computer room with Komodo and check for a reply from Indigne. Sure enough she has responded. Her email is nothing elaborate, but it gets the point across. It reads:

Dear Ms. Van Rook,

I am pleased to learn that you are interested in Garick School of Ballet. It is such a welcoming community, and I think that you would enjoy attending GSB. However, we are currently on our winter break until January 6, but you are more than welcome to stop by after that. If you have anymore questions, feel free to send them to me, and I will answer them as soon as I am able to.

Happy holidays,

Indigne Albright

I shake my head. That it not what I wanted to get, but at least I got a reply. I have no clue what I'm going to tell Anonymous, however, and I'm starting to worry. Hopefully sending her an email counts. It should, right?

"Psst, Zak, we need to talk," I whisper a while later. Zak looks at me groggily; I woke him up apparently.

"What is it, Lily?" he asks.

"It's about Kur."

"Not now, Lily. Can't this wait until the morning?"

"No!" Zak rolls his eyes (and his head along with them) and turns on his bedside lamp. Then he motions for me to sit down on his bed, so I make my way over to his bed and sit down. "I need to know something." Zak gives me a confused stare. "My powers, I've been told, are meant to equal and oppose Kur's, but I don't understand how. The original hosts died before Kur."

"I don't know, Lily. Just let me go back to sleep."

"Zak, listen to me. This is serious. If my powers are meant to take down Kur, then why didn't they do so the first time?"

"I don't know. Maybe they're supposed to do it in the future?" Although his guess was made in a state of sleepiness, it makes sense.

"But will there be a next time?"

"If they find a way to bring Argost back, there will be." I tense up when Zak says this. Bringing Argost back is my worst nightmare, but if people are really trying to bring him back, I have a major problem. "Now, please, just let me sleep." I shake my head and tell him I have one more question. "What else?"

"I'm losing my connection to Komodo. This didn't start happening until after we resurrected you. How do I keep it from disappearing altogether?" Zak shrugged.

"I know as much as you do, Lily. Now go to bed."

"Goodnight, Zak. I love you," I say as I stand up and leave the room. As I'm walking away, I think I hear Zak mumble that he loves me too. I smile. I really do love my brother, whether or not he knows it.

* * *

That concludes Chapter 18! I hope you all enjoyed it, even if not much happened. I'll have Chapter 19 up as soon as I can. Oh, by the way, Garick School of Ballet is NOT a real ballet school, so unfortunately you can't attend classes there. Anyways, thank you all so much reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	19. What to Do

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 19! Can you all believe that there are only a few chapters left? I find that so hard to believe! Anyways, here's Chapters 19: What to Do

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Stalking is implied.**

* * *

Sitting outside, I find myself in utter disbelief at how warm winter in Atlanta is compared to winter back in Seward, and the extra daylight is amazing. I wouldn't mind living out here one day. It must be nice to have a relatively warm winter. I guess the only downsides are the summer heat and the lack of resources to handle winter weather. Oh well, I've got around four more years until I have to start thinking about where I spend most of my time. Suddenly my blood runs cold. It's almost the end of December. Zak and I start public school in January. What I am I going to do? I've been so preoccupied with solving Anonymous's clues and my own problems that I completely forgot about going to public school. I put my head in my hands and feel the pressure from my head's weight pressing into my palms build.

Eventually, I get a piece of paper and a pencil from inside and start making notes of what has happened to me. I begin with being adopted and continue all the way up to now. There are a few things I am able to connect, such as everything related to Argost and WeirdWorld, but beyond that things get confusing. For example, I understand that I am not the reincarnation of Ningirama (or most likely any of the legendary people or gods) but that I have some their powers. Ningirama's powers have allowed me to keep a weak connection to all reptiles and use that connection to keep those I love safe. But I still can't figure out how my powers are supposed to be equal and opposite those of Kur's; my powers have no purpose here since Kur is gone and left Zak with powers but not Kur's soul. Still, something doesn't sit right with me. Could Kur come back? Is that what I'm meant to do? Stop Kur from coming back? Munya did mention that someone was trying to resurrect Argost.

And who even is Anonymous? They know way too much, and it genuinely terrifies me. If xe knows all that about me, I can't help but wonder what else they know. Does xe know me personally? I swear if Anonymous is actually Mom, I will have a breakdown. No, that doesn't make sense. If Mom were really trying to stay off the grid, she would not be sending me notes that are guiding me to her. So Anonymous is definitely not Mom, and it can't be Drew because she seemed so scared of Dr. Beeman's ever watching eye when we visited with her. Yet, it could be Drew. I'll keep her on my list of possible identities. Then an idea strikes me. Could Anonymous be one of the Secret Scientists?

A folded piece of paper to my left catches me by surprise. That paper was definitely not there ten minutes ago. I pick it up and take it inside. Zak sees me, and he gets the others. Once we are all together, I unfold the paper. It's another note.

Dear Miss Van Rook, December 21

I was not pleased with the results of my last note. I told you to find Dr. Grey, not send an email to the lady who you _think_ is Dr. Grey. However, I will count it, but that is solely because you received a reply. By now, in case you haven't figured it out already, you should be able to tell that the Indigne Albright you contacted is in fact Dr. Grey. I wish you luck in convincing her to return to her old life; here is her address: 1451 Adonais Way, Atlanta, GA, 30303. When you have done so, come to the address provided below. There, we will meet.

Hraunás 75

820 EYRARBAKKI

ICELAND

Sincerely,

Anonymous

Iceland? Are you kidding me? Who the heck do I know in Iceland? Better question, how are we going to get there? Iceland gets no daylight in winter, so it's not like we can just recharge the airship as we fly. I put my head in hands, frustrated and overwhelmed. Sensing my exasperation, Fisk tells me to focus on finding Mom and bringing her back. He's right. I won't have to worry about Iceland until after I convince her to return to being Miranda Grey.

"Lily!" Doc says, and I can tell from his voice that it's not the first time he's said it. I look at him. "What do you want to do? Do you want to go find Dr. Grey now, or would you rather wait a bit?" Stars, I hadn't thought of that. We don't have a time limit anymore, but I would like to find her before the end of the year. Looking at the others and taking a minute to think, I make my decision.

Clearing my throat, I reply, "I think we should wait. It will be alarming for us to show up at Mom's place the day after I emailed her. Plus, it's the holidays, and she needs a break. Even if she's not Mom, Indigne still deserves some time off." We discuss my decision and review the pros and cons of it. Our biggest con is that Mom might skip town now that she knows I'm in Atlanta. But we decide that waiting is the best thing to do. We agree to return to Seward and come back in a few days.

Soaking up as much sunlight as we can, we fly back to Seward. No one says a word the whole flight, and I sit with Doc in the cockpit. He seems really down, and I can't say I blame him. It's the first holidays he's spent without Drew since they've been married, and it's probably a lot worse now that he knows she is working for Dr. Beeman. When we land, it's dark, so we all head inside and go to bed. It's been a long journey to this point, but it's not over yet. I just hope the riddles were as hard as it gets.

As I fall asleep with Komodo curled up beside me, I dream of what it will be like when I find Mom and when Drew is back with the Saturdays. It's a pleasant dream, and I am almost certain that I smile in my sleep.

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 19! I know it wasn't a cliffhanger, but oh well. Who do you all think Anonymous is, and how do you think they know all this? Let me know your thoughts in the reviews! Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	20. Affirmative

Wow, Butterflies, I am in shock at the fact that we are now twenty chapters into the story. I am so glad that you all have been enjoying the story, but I'm afraid to admit that things start to wind down soon. But let's not dwell on that. Also, I'm moving at the end of this week, so I might not be able to post anymore chapters for a while. I'm really sorry, but life is cruel sometimes. Anyways, here's Chapter 20: Affirmative

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Stalking is indirectly mentioned.**

* * *

December 25. Christmas Day. A religious celebration for some, and a secular holiday for others. To me, it doesn't matter so much how one spends the day. I personally don't care what others chose to believe. As long as they are content with their beliefs, then I have no business getting involved. But today matters to me for a different reason. Today, I've decided, is the day I want to try and talk to Mom and see if I can convince her to return with us. Stars, I really hope this works. _Zut_! I still have to come up with a reason why we're going to her house, especially on Christmas. I'll ask Doyle. Maybe he can help me.

I tap on the door to Doyle's room, and he asks who is it. After I announce myself, he lets me in, and we come up a reason for the visit. It's not perfect, but it'll have to do. Then I leave him alone and head out to the living room. There, I see the others are sitting in the living room talking. I sit down and join the conversation. They are talking about all their past Christmas celebrations. Unable to relate entirely, I just listen. They have not been in Seward for most Christmases because of Doc and Drew's work, yet they always found a way to make it special. They all tell stories of funny things that happened in the past. Somehow, it seems that Zak and Fisk were always in the middle of the problems, not that that is surprising.

A while later, Doc asks if I'm ready. I tell him I am, so he goes to gather everyone. Inside, my heart is pounding. Am I ready? I would love to see Mom again, but I am suddenly very uncertain of this. What if it's not Mom? Anxieties like those grip my mind and tell me to forget this. Even if it is Mom, I doubt that she would come back just because I asked nicely. She has a reason for leaving her life as Dr. Miranda Grey behind. I just wish I had answers.

Doc and I walk up the steps to the porch. I can feel the knot on my stomach pulling tighter, and all of a sudden, I want to back out. Doc places a hand on my shoulder encouragingly. I ring the doorbell, and a middle aged woman answers the door. Either Mom had plastic surgery, or this not the woman we are looking for. The woman asks if she can help us, so I clear my throat and ask if she Indigne Albright. The woman seems both appalled and flatters before saying that she will be right back. She closes the door and leaves us outside on the porch. So much for southern hospitality. The woman returns a few minutes later with a younger looking woman with blonde curly hair pulled back in a loose French twist and blue eyes. Her face is familiar, and she has a small bump on her stomach.

"Are you Indigne Albright, ma'am?" I ask. The woman confirms this and offers for us to have a seat outside on the porch. We all sit down in some chairs and start talking.

"Ms. Albright, I'm Lily Van Rook, the one who sent you that email, and this is my uncle Dr. Solomon Saturday." We shake hands, and Doc tells Indigne to call him Doc. She smiles, but she seems a little nervous.

"So what brings y'all here?" Indigne asks. Between her American accent and use of southern slang, I'm beginning to doubt this is Mom.

"We're new in town, and we have a friend who is a student of yours. She said you didn't have plans for today," I add quickly so that Indigne is unable to ask which student. Indigne seems a bit surprised, but says nothing. "We wanted to invite you to dinner." Indigne smiles slightly.

"Thank you for the offer, Lily and Dr. Saturday. I will need some time to think it over and to check my schedule, but do look for an email from me in an hour or so." I can tell Indigne is ending the conversation from her last sentence, so I stand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Albright. And I do hope you consider our offer." Doc and Indigne stand, and we all shake hands, and Doc thanks her for her time and for visit. Then we go our separate ways. On the way back to where we parked the Griffin, I sarcastically mutter under my breath that that conversation definitely didn't sound creepy at all. Doc must hear me, for he says that we did the best we could and that there was no way to walk into that situation without it being either awkward, creepy, or both.

Back at the airship, Doc is trying to throw what he has left to do of dinner together, and the rest of us are trying to make the airship look presentable. All of a sudden, the computer in the other room goes off, so Komodo and I hurry into the room. It's an email from Indigne. It says she would like to accept our offer. I reply that it sounds great and that Doc and I can pick her up if she would like. Then I dash off into the kitchen to tell Doc the news with Komodo struggling to keep up behind me.

A couple of hours later, Dad, Indigne, and I walk up to the airship door. It opens, and we all step inside. Something I notice about Indigne is that she seems very at ease with us, despite the fact that we are complete strangers and are taking her to our house. She has to be Mom. Why else would she be so comfortable with the idea of spending the evening with us? Yet, part of me is unable to let go of the fear that this is not Mom. But it doesn't make sense that Anonymous would lie to us this far. No, I have to trust Anonymous. I have to believe that this is Mom.

Doc calls everyone to the table, which is decorated beautifully. Komodo and I really outdid ourselves (just kidding, but I do think the table looks nice). Doc pulls out Indigne's chair for her before taking his seat as well. Introductions are made, and I can tell that Indigne is caught off guard a little bit when Doyle introduces himself as my uncle. _Zut._ She probably thinks Doc and Doyle are married or at least together. I explain that my" Aunt Drew" couldn't make it today because she was working back where we used to live. Indigne smiles slightly and wishes Drew safe travels.

After dinner, Indigne and I step outside and talk. I ask her a few questions about the Garick School of Ballet, and she answers them. Suddenly, she lets out a small gasp and places her hand on her stomach. I ask if she is alright, and she replies that she fine. I wonder if that was my little sibling kicking. But Indigne seems so small. She might just be carrying a small baby.

"Ms. Albright, is it a boy or a girl?" I ask. She gives me a surprised look.

"A boy. But don't mention that I'm expecting to anyone just yet. I'm trying to keep it quiet because people tend to make a big fuss over pregnant women and babies." I laugh a little and promise that I won't tell. We talk a while longer. Indigne is an easy person to get along with, which is nice.

"Ms. Albright," I begin to ask, "are you familiar with a woman named Miranda Grey?" Indigne thinks about the name for a while.

"I know the name, but I can't remember from where. I'm sorry, Lily."

"That's okay. She is my adoptive mother, but she vanished without a trace a few months ago. We've been trying to find her, but our lead went cold after we got here." I stop to catch my breath. "I know her, and she vanished for a reason, but I need her back. There are so many questions that need answers, and only she can provide those answers. And I just miss her so much." Tears start to flood my eyes. These are not fake tears; they're genuine. I didn't realize how much I miss Mom until she is inches away from me but still intangible.

"It's alright, Iris. You'll find her. I'm really sorry you're going through all of this." Indigne pauses. "Do you need a hug?" I nod, and she gives me a gentle hug. "I promise that y'all will find her."

"Thank you, Ms. Albright." I wipe my tears from my now red and blotchy face. "If- if you come across her, will you please ask her to remember her promise?" Indigne nods.

"I will, Lily."

Later that night, after Doc has left to take Indigne home, I am sitting at the kitchen table with Komodo by my side. Doc is still not back, but I want to talk to him about Indigne. I'll just have to wait, I suppose. Looking, down at Komodo, I realize that we never seem to spend much time together anymore, not like we used to anyways. Now he just watches me and keeps me from doing anything stupid. I sigh and shake my head. No more. As long as I have Ningirama's powers, Komodo and I will still have a connection, and I am determined to make it strong again. I climb out of the chair and sit with Komodo on the floor. He puts his head on my knee for the first time in who knows how long. It feels good to be this close to him again.

"Hey, Komodo, I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"What for, Lily?"

"For cutting you out. I got scared when I noticed our connection was going away, and I didn't want anyone to get hurt when it finally went away. I realize now that I was only hurting you and myself in the process."

"I understand, Lily, and I forgive you. This has indeed been a taxing time for all of us, and you were simply doing what you believed to be the best thing at the time. I couldn't ask for more of you."

"Thank you, Komodo." I pet him gently as we sit together in silence. We can hear the others still awake in the living room, but we both tune them out.

"Lily, are you concerned about this situation with Anonymous?"

"A tad. Should I be?"

"In my opinion, yes. This person clearly knows you, your story, and the people around you all too well. I want you to be careful. I fear the road ahead of us is far bumpier than anything we can imagine."

About that time, Doc walks in the door. I wave to him as he enters the kitchen, so he sits down on the floor with Komodo and me. The three of us discuss Indigne for a while before Doc asks me what my conclusion is.

"I can't say if this is me being desperate to find Mom or what, but I believe that Indigne Albright is in fact Mom."

"Good because I convinced her to come with us to Iceland. We leave tomorrow."

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 20! What do you all think Komodo was talking about, and Indigne really Miranda? Tell me what you thought, and I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I'll have Chapter 21 up soon! Don't forget to follow, favorite, or review! Thank you all so much for reading! I love you all!


	21. The Land of Fire and Ice

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 21! I'm so excited! But I'm sad too because the story is drawing to a close. Anyways, here's Chapter 21: The Land of Fire and Ice

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

* * *

I can't believe I ever thought winter in Seward was dark. I can't believe I ever thought the eternal night at WeirdWorld was dark. Honestly, I can't believe I ever thought anything was dark before now. Iceland, I am discovering, is very dark in the winter. As in no sunlight all winter for three months. I'm not sure I could do it, even with my experience at WeirdWorld. But the land is beautiful. I wish I could see it in summer. And the Northern Lights are gorgeous. The colors are so vibrant, and I love how they look as if they are dancing. Maybe living here wouldn't be so bad, as long as I had someone with me; I'm not sure I could stand the lack of sunlight in the winter all by myself.

As we fly to an area just outside Eyrarbakki, I gaze out the window in awe. This land is absolutely stunning, and I can only imagine how it looks in the summer. I have to convince the Saturdays to come back here one day. But I need to focus right now. After Doc lands the airship, we will have to drive to the address Anonymous gave us using one of the Saturdays' extreme weather mobiles (which I did not know they had). Poor Indigne. She just got dragged into all of this, but she seems to be doing okay so far. I don't see how she is able to stay so calm, even if she is Mom. I know that I would be freaking the heck out if I were in her shoes.

The car pulls into the driveway at a small hostel, and we all get out. From the outside, the hostel looks nice with its white paint and blue-green curtains hanging from the windows from the inside. We walk into the hostel, and a receptionist greets us warmly. Doc says that we're supposed to meet someone, and the receptionist nods before disappearing in the back office. She returns a few moments later and asks if a "Miss Van Rook" is with us. I introduce myself to the receptionist. She asks me to come with her and to bring Indigne with me. The Saturdays seem wary of it all, but I agree anyways. It's not like we have any other options if we want to resolve this.

In the back office, Indigne and I wait patiently. We have no idea what to expect, but we are both hoping for the best. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest and hear it roaring in my ears. The office contrasts starkly with how I am feeling; the office is simple and clean. The walls are painted white, and the floor is a simple hardwood. There is one desk and one computer, with a filing cabinet next to the desk. There is very little in the room. Meanwhile, I am a complete wreck. My heart is racing faster than it has in a very long time, and I can feel the sweat forming and sticking to my body. There are no windows in the office, nor is the door glass, which I believe adding to my reaction to the situation. I am completely separated from the Saturdays, and there is no guarantee the woman next to me is Mom. In other words, I am alone if anything goes wrong. Indigne softly places a hand on my shoulder; I tense at first, but then I relax when I realize it is only she. She looks down at me and smiles encouragingly. Then her smile fades as she shakes her head and looks at me sympathetically.

"Lily, I did a bit of research on your adoptive mom. I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid I have some bad news." I swallow. Not here. Not now. Indigne is Mom, I know it. "I found some records saying she passed away two months ago. Something about pancreatitis." My heart stops beating as it falls to the floor and shatters. No. No. Not Mom. I can't- I don't believe it. After all this time, I thought I had found her. I thought I could have part of my family back. What do I get instead? Two dead parents and a dead sibling. I crumple to the floor and try my best not to cry. This isn't happening. Her promise. She can't be dead. _Pas ma mère_. _S'il vous plaît, pas ma mère_. Indigne squats down to my level and places a hand on my knee. She doesn't say anything; there's not to say that can make this easier. First their wedding, then Dad's death, and now Mom and my unborn sibling's deaths. How could I have missed all those?

My hands ball into fists. I don't know what effect this will have on my powers, but I don't really care. If Anonymous wants my powers, xe can have them. I don't want them anymore. I just want Mom.

The door to the office opens. I am half expecting Mom or Dr. Beeman to walk in knowing my luck. Instead, it is Komodo. He says that we need to look outside. I leap to my feet, translate for Indigne, and rush out to the lobby. It does not look good outside. Ice and snow are falling heavily from the sky, and I can see geothermal vents giving off more steam than before. I knew volcanoes erupted in Iceland earlier this year, but this definitely is not normal. Am I doing this? Closing my eyes, I try to calm down and get a grip on my powers. But I can't. It's as if they slipped right through my fingers. What is happening? I've never lost control like this before! Breathe, Iris- Lily- whatever I'm called. Just breathe. The ground starts shaking, and the wind grows significantly stronger. I'm losing control entirely. My connection with Komodo is fluctuating rapidly, and any magic I might have been able to use to stop this is gone. It's as if my powers just disconnected themselves from me.

The office door opens and closes. Everything outside and inside me settles. Everyone looks to me, but I can only shake my head and stammer as I try to explain myself.

A new person clears xe's throat. "Hello, Iris. I'm Anonymous."

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 21! I hope you all enjoyed reading it. What do you all think of the twist Indigne informed us of? And who do you think Anonymous is? Let me know in the reviews. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	22. Should Have Known

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 22! I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter, and I can't believe that _Remember Your Promise_ is almost over. I've enjoyed writing it, and you all have been amazing. Thank you. Please note that there is some cussing in this chapter, but it is in French. Here's Chapter 22: Should Have Known

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned.**

* * *

I watch as people leave the common area outside the room in the hostel. Soon, everyone is gone except for one girl with auburn hair and Indigne. I strain to hear what they're saying; I can't make out everything, but I am able to catch parts and pieces of their conversation. Whatever they are talking about, they seem to have met before now. But how does Indigne know this girl? I guess I really did miss a lot over those six years I was at WeirdWorld.

"Lindsey, I don't quite follow. How do they affect me?"

"Because they've been trying to find you for the past four months, and unless you want my father to learn your location, I suggest you keep playing along." Indigne pulls back in shock. "Don't act surprised, Miranda. You know who I am," Lindsey sneers with an American accent now. Wait- Miranda?! This is getting way too complicated.

"No, Lindsey. Dr. Grey died two months ago. She died so I could be free and the others safe."

"That's not how her father will see things." Indigne and Lindsey stand to face the door to the common area. _Merde_. It's Dr. Beeman, and he has his posse with him. If I look hard enough, I can see Drew in the back looking tired and defeated. I can imagine that all she wants to do is leave Dr. Beeman's team and come back home with the Saturdays. Before, when she knew we thought she was dead, she had no other options, but now that we know, she must be tormented by the fact that she can never see or talk to us until she is done with Dr. Beeman. Stars, I wish someone would just arrest Dr. Beeman. Then I take and closer look and gasp. Next to Drew is Mr. Scheef. How on in the world does this just keep getting more and more complicated?! Scottish Lindsey Campbell is actually American Lindsey Beeman- the daughter of Dr. Beeman, and Indigne is actually Mom but claiming that Mom is dead. Mr. Scheef is somehow connected to Dr. Beeman, and we're all in a small hostel in a small town on a small island. All of a sudden this is not looking good for us.

"Who are you?" I hear Indigne ask.

"Don't play dumb with me, Miranda. You know perfectly well who I am," Dr. Beeman replies.

"I am not Dr. Miranda Grey. She died two months ago. Look it up; it's in public records." Indigne is trying to keep her composure, I can tell, but I can also tell that she is terrified. Honestly, I can't say I blame her. No matter who she is, this situation is scary for her. If she is Mom, this situation is scary because it means that four months of hiding have been wasted, but if she not Mom and actually just an average woman, the situation is scary because she has no idea who the hell these people are. What have I done? I step out of the room and walk down the hallway to get to the common area. Unfortunately, the lights are motion activated, so they turn on, alerting the group that I am coming. So much for the element of surprise.

Before I enter the common area, I poke my head out. Everyone is looking at me, so I saunter out. It's not like I can surprise them at this point. Drew and Indigne both have a look of "is this girl a total idiot?" on their faces. As a matter of fact, in this situation, I am a total idiot. I wave hello to everyone, but nobody waves back; either they're being rude or actually have no idea what to make of me.

"Hello. I heard arguing, so I came to see if everyone is alright."

"Lily, go back to bed. It's almost three in the morning," Indigne says calmly.

"It's only seven at night back home," I explain. Indigne gives a me a look that says I had better not argue. Too late.

"Well, if it isn't Iris Van Rook, or is it Lily Saturday? I really can't tell with you these days," Dr. Beeman says.

"Go to hell, Dr. Beeman."

"Ooh, sass. I like it much more than the meek little servant girl from WeirdWorld." Taking a deep breath, I ignore his comment and turn to Lindsey.

"I thought you were my friend, Lindsey. I thought I could trust you."

"And you could trust me. I was Anonymous. I led you to Drew and Miranda, did I not?"

"But you had a hidden agenda the whole time. That's neither trust nor help; that's manipulation. You used my family and those I care about as pawns in your little game. I may not know what you're planning, but what you did was wrong." I turn to leave. I am done with everyone here. Dr. Beeman and his crew have caused enough problems in my life, and I don't need any more right now. As I am walking out, someone from Dr. Beeman's group mocks me, asking if I'm running back to get my daddy for help. Breathe, Iris- Lily- whatever I am, breathe. Focus. Relax. Don't lose control. My hands ball into fists. Let it go, Iris- Lily. If they came here for a fight, they would have already started one. Just walk away. Breathe.

I'm lying on my bed, the bed still made beneath my body. I want to sleep, but I can't. This is just too confusing. Why was Dr. Beeman here? Who _really_ is Lindsey? She obviously isn't the Scottish girl I knew growing up. And what did they mean when they called Indigne Miranda? None of this makes sense anymore. I sit up and curl into a ball, my head resting on my knees and my arms wrapped around my legs. This is all my fault. They should have just left me at WeirdWorld. Forget any promises. I'm releasing them of those obligations, especially Mom, When she married Dad and adopted me, she promised that she would care for me, love me, and be the mother I never had to me. But death and destruction follow me wherever I go. I can't, in good conscious, continue to hold that promise to her. Here and now, I, Iris Nicole Van Rook, release Dr. Miranda Grey of any obligation and any promises related to me. My arms burn as the urge to cut swells and consumes. And I, Iris Nicole Van Rook and Lilianna Rose Saturday, release myself from my obligation I have to hurt myself. I may have healing powers, but this kind of healing is the kind that magic can't touch.

I, Iris Nicole Van Rook and Lilianna Rose Saturday, vow to henceforth take care of myself and show myself the compassion and love that I try to show others. I, Iris Nicole Van Rook and Lilianna Rose Saturday, vow to heal.

* * *

That concludes Chapter 22. I hope it wasn't too confusing or too much. Let me know what you all thought. Thank you all so much for reading. I love you all so much. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. And don't forget to love yourself. 3


	23. Proceed

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 23! I still honestly cannot believe that we are already twenty-three chapters into this. That just blows my mind. Anyways, here is Chapter 23: Proceed.

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Abuse alluded to.**

* * *

The next day is even crazier than last night. Dr. Beeman and his team are still here in Eyrarbakki. They obviously want something- or someone, but what is it? Mom, although she is a wonderful and amazing person, isn't worth all this trouble, not in Dr. Beeman's mind anyway. No, they've got to be after a much bigger fish than Mom. They can't be after Zak since he is no longer Kur, he just has his powers, so I am honestly stumped.

Noticing my left eye is dry, I try to blink. Much to my surprise, I can't. Something's holding my eye open. So I reach for my eye in hopes of removing whatever is holding it open. At least, I attempt to reach up and removed the annoying object. I can't actually do that because my arms are strapped to a chair. Where am I? Better question, actually. How in the bloody hell did I get here?! When I went to sleep last night I was in the hostel, so how did I end up here without a) noticing or b) anyone else noticing? Then I notice something is holding my head in place so that I cannot move it. I'm forced to stare up at a- stars no. No, this is bad. This is very very bad. It's a laser of some kind, and it looks like the kind used in laser eye surgery. I think that I'm the person Dr. Beeman was after, or at least one of the people he was after. But why am I positioned for eye surgery? This doesn't add up, unless I'm missing a major detail here.

Nobody comes in the room for a long while, and my eye is now extremely dry. To make matters worse, I can't feel my lower body anymore from sitting in this uncomfortable position for so long. I really wish someone would come in, even if it's Dr. Beeman. Even Dr. Beeman beats sitting here alone while the suspense builds. Yet, nobody comes. I continue to sit there for an even longer while; I wish I could know how long I've been here, but there are no clocks in the room.

Some time later, the door the room opens, I do my best to look that way, but with limited mobility of my head, I can't see much. I see a lab coat and a gray coat was well. Okay, fate, when I said Dr. Beeman would be better than sitting in this room alone, I didn't mean send him in here! The two people come around to where I am able to see them. One is most definitely Dr. Beeman, but I don't recognize the other person, although based on the name on his lab coat, he is an Icelandic doctor working for Dr. Beeman. Dr. Beeman says something to the other doctor in what I presume to be Icelandic before the other doctor walks away, and Dr. Beeman leans in very close to my face.

"Hello, Ms. Van Rook. I do hope you're comfortable. This is will be relatively long procedure, so I want to ensure that you're settled before Dr. Johannson begins the procedure."

"Why am I here, exactly, Dr. Beeman?" I snarl.

"There appears to be something wrong with that green eye of yours, Ms. Van Rook. It appears to hold your _magic_. We're going to fix that and send you on your way." My hands tighten around the armrests that my arms are strapped to.

"This is low, even for you." Dr. Beeman laughs.

"Dearest, " he says sarcastically, "I live and work on a mountain. Everything is low for me." Then Dr. Beeman says to the other doctor, " _Lean hana aftur_." I guess that means something like "lean her back" because the chair starts to lean back after that. The other doctor puts something in my eye, and it goes numb. He does a few other things, but I try to dissociate and take my mind elsewhere. Eventually, the doctor starts typing in a machine, which I guess controls the laser. No one is coming to help me, not this time. I am going lose my powers here and now, and for what? Why does Dr. Beeman want my powers so badly? What is it about all this Kur stuff that makes him do these drastic and probably illegal things. Then it hits me. Mr. Scheef is working for Dr. Beeman, but Mr. Scheef is a lawyer, not a scientist. Is Mr. Scheef serving as legal aid for Dr. Beeman? Is what Dr. Beeman is doing _legal_? I close my right eye in defeat. Congrats, Dr. Beeman, you've finally won.

I wake up several hours after the surgery has ended. I haven't been able to look at my eye yet, for it's covered with an eye patch, but I'm not sure I want to see it. All the trouble I've been through throughout my life has gone to waste. I know I wished away my powers many times, but at the end of the day, I was grateful to have them. What am I supposed to do now? I'm useless to the Saturdays now, and according to Indigne, Mom is dead. I start crying, but without tears. For thirteen, almost fourteen, years my identity has been based off of what I- or rather my powers- could do for others. Now that they're gone, who am I? Suddenly, the door to the room I'm stuck in opens. It's Lindsey, so I turn my back to her.

"Bitch. I brought you a visitor. Have fun." Then Lindsey slams the door. I honestly preferred her as Lindsey Campbell over this Lindsey Beeman.

"Lily?" I turn around; it's Indigne. "Are you alright?" I nod, trying to keep from cracking. "I'm really sorry this happened."

"It's-" my voice breaks, "-it's not your fault, Ms. Albright. You didn't cause any of this." She sighs and shakes her head.

"But I did." Curious, I ask for details. She explains that she knew Mom pretty well actually since they used to be neighbors until Indigne moved across town to be closer to work. After Mom passed away, Indigne began looking very deeply into Mom's work. She discovered the Secret Scientists, and since then, Dr. Beeman and his team had been bothering her, demanding that she come with them and that she admit that she was Mom. That was partly why our presence had her slightly on edge but at the same time made her feel at ease. "I knew I could trust you because Miranda herself told me that she trusted you all to a fault." Tears well up in my eyes. I miss Mom so much, and I miss Dad so much too. I miss the little sibling I'm never going to get to know, and I miss the life I'll never get to have. "Iris, she loved you very much, and she left to protect you. You were such a treasure to her, and she wanted nothing more than to watch you grow up and succeed. She just felt that you would do better with the Saturdays as your guardians." I put my head in my hands and sob. What a day it's been for me. I feel someone push my hair back, kiss me on the top of the head, and say that they love me, but when I look up, there is no one there.

"I love you too."

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 23! What do you all think will happen now that Lily has lost her powers? What is up with Indigne and her previously lying about know Dr. Grey? Let me know what you all thought! Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review! I love you all so much!


	24. Aftermath

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 24! I've decided that I am going to conclude this story after twenty-six chapters and an epilogue as the twenty-seventh chapter. In other words, dear ones, my time with you all is almost over. After this, I do not think I will write another _The Secret Saturdays_ fanfiction. But let's not dwell on that. There is a chapter to be read. Here's Chapter 24: Aftermath

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Suicide mentioned.**

* * *

Keeping my hair brushed over my left eye, I try to act normal around the Saturdays. We are at lunch with Drew, who has finally been able to get some time away from Dr. Beeman and his team. The Saturdays and Drew are talking and catching up on what has happened in the past four months. I try to stay focused and look interested, but my mind is elsewhere. Truthfully, my mind is on my eye. So my powers were stored in my eye? I suppose that makes sense, but I always just thought it was because of a genetic disorder. I was way off, that's for sure. Stupid me had to get my powers taken away because I didn't understand why my eye was green.

Komodo wraps his tail around my leg, and I can tell he is saying something, but without Ningirama's powers, I have no connection with him, and I am unable to understand him. I try to stop the tears before they start, but Drew notices my face getting splotchy. When she asks what's wrong, I reply nothing before I break down crying. Heads start turning in this small Icelandic restaurant as people look to see why I am crying. Oh stars, not now. Not here, not now. I pull my knees into my chest and bury my head in my knees. Drew puts a hand on my shoulder and tells me it's okay. I wish everything were okay, but it's not. Dr. Beeman stole my powers from me, and now he could do stars know what with them. And it's all my fault for not knowing about my green eye.

"Lily, Komodo wants to know what's wrong," I hear Zak say, but his voice seems far away. "He says you're not answering him." I keep crying because I don't know what else to do, and I don't know how to tell the others this. Eventually the tears slow down, but I still leave my head buried in my knees. Drew rubs my back as I calm down, but it doesn't help all that much.

"I'm fine, guys, honestly," I lie. The others definitely don't buy it.

"Lily, I've seen fine before, and you are definitely not it," Doyle remarks. He's right, though. I'm not fine. I feel terrible, guilty. There's a pit in my stomach that grows with every second knowing that Dr. Beeman has my powers and that it's my fault for letting him take them. How could I have been so stupid? _J'ai honte de moi-même._ How could I have let him do that?

Suddenly, Drew's phone buzzes. She apologizes as she steps out to answer the call. I watch her through the window as she listens to the caller. The call is short, and when she comes back inside, her face is combination of a myriad of emotions.

"Well, do you all want the good news or the bad news first?" We all agree to get the good news first. "I'm no longer working for Arthur." Everyone celebrates for a brief moment; we finally have Drew back! But then Drew tells us that she still has bad news; we all quiet down. "Arthur didn't tell me this directly, but after working with and against him for as many years as I have, I know that he doesn't just give up. He's gotten what he was after." Silence envelopes Drew's words. Dr. Beeman got what he wanted. Does that mean my powers or Mom?

A while later, I am sitting outside the hostel on the steps. The cold air is harsh on my skin, but I like the way it feels. The burning is nice, and it serves as punishment for letting Dr. Beeman take my powers. Wind blows in my face, forcing tears, which then freeze, out of my eyes. I never imagined I would be doing this, punishing myself for losing my powers after such a long struggle to keep those I love safe from both the monster I am-was- the monster I was and from Dr. Beeman's schemes. I never imagined I would be like this. Life has a funny way of punishing those who try to save everyone, and it has a funny way of rewarding those who hurt others the most. Look at Argost, he hurt so many, even before he came to be the celebrity he was. And then look at Mom and Dad. They both tried with all their might to help as many as they could and to save everyone, but now they're both dead. What did my baby sibling ever do that xe should have to die too?

An overwhelming wave of emotions hit me. I feel raw and vulnerable. Pulling my knees into my chest, I curl into a ball. I will not cry, I will not be vulnerable, I will not be weak. I stare out at the perpetual night as snow falls gracefully on the ground. Street lamps light up the road, giving the street the look of something right out of a book. Behind the hostel, there is a sea wall. I can hear the waves crash against the shore before quietly retreating back to where they belong. Perhaps I am like the waves. I try to reach somewhere, I try to be something I'm not, and I end up crashing and failing. Maybe I just need to retreat to where I came from. And I don't mean WeirdWorld or Orono. I mean to the earth. I could freeze out here or I could let the sea take me far away. But the pain that would cause. I can't do that to the Saturdays. I rest my left temple on my knees and try to keep from crying. My long hair falls in front of my eyes. Stars, I really don't want to be here anymore.

Drew finds me outside, but instead of telling me to come inside, she sits down next to me on the steps. We sit in silence for a while. I like the silence; I find it comforting. What is Drew thinking right now? Does she know? Is she okay? I scoot closer to her and take her hand. She doesn't look at me, but a quick squeeze of my hand lets me know she knows I am here.

"Are you okay, Drew?"

"Yeah, Lily, I am." We both stare out into the darkness. "I just feel so lost. I spent four months away from you all without any contact, and so much has changed. You're not Iris, and I'm not Mom. Everyone has changed so much, grown up just a tad too fast." Drew swallows. "I wanted to protect my family from all the pain I've been through and all the pain I know is out there. If I had known my desire to protect you all would hurt you, I wouldn't have done it."I squeeze her hand comfortingly. "And I just found out about Miranda. God, what a world is this." Drew then smoothes my hair. "I'm so sorry, Lily." Then she kisses my forehead and goes back inside.

"I'm so sorry too, Drew."

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 24. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I hope to have Chapter 25 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading. I love you all so much. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review.


	25. Return

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 25! I can hardly believe I have one chapter and an epilogue remaining before I finish this story. It has been such an incredible experience, and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. Here's Chapter 25: Return

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned. Also, self harm and suicidal undertones.**

* * *

New Year's Eve is tomorrow, and I am having such a hard time believing that. It has been a truly hard year, not just on me. Zak died in May after Argost ripped Kur's spirit from him, and Dad died in May as well. Then there was Dr. Beeman's pursuit of us and Zak's second death and resurrection that resulted in him regaining his Kur powers. I learned about my family and tried to heal. Then, back in August, we lost Drew and spent four months mourning her. We found her, and I learned that Mom and my unborn baby sibling are both dead. What a year it has been, and next year shows no signs of getting any easier. There is so much uncertainty and so much fear. How is this fair?

Drew cuts my hair, and I watch it fall to the ground. My head feels so much lighter now that all the hair is gone. All I have left is a pixie cut that covers my left eye. I still have not told the Saturdays about Dr. Beeman taking my powers. I wish I knew, however, why he wanted them so badly. None of this really makes sense, but at this point, I don't really care. We are taking Indigne home, and we probably won't ever see her again. After that, we are returning to Seward to try and live life as normally as we can. Doc starts work soon, and Drew still has some paperwork left to do to prove that she is still alive. After that, I think she wants to work as a doctor at the local clinic. Zak and I start public school soon. Honestly, I am not looking forward to that. It will eventually warm up in Seward, which means no more long sleeves, which means people will see my scars. I'm not proud of my self harming, but I don't know how else to cope. I want to stop, I really do, but I can't. I've tried, and each time I relapse. I really regret doing it, but it's become an addiction. There are times when I scratch myself for no reason other than I simply felt an urge. I know I need help, but I don't know whom and how to tell. There is obviously something wrong with me, but there is nothing I can do about it.

I hear Drew and Indigne talking at the door. Looking around, I notice that Drew is done cutting my hair and has cleaned up. How did I miss that? Indigne has something in her hand, and she is apparently asking Drew if she can talk with me alone. Drew consents and leaves the room. Indigne approaches me and sits down in a chair across from me.

"I found this picture of your Mom. Figured you might want it." Indigne hands me a picture of Mom with Dad. There's no date on the picture, so I have no idea when it was taken, but they both look so happy with each other. Yet, both seem sad somehow. But it's a lovely picture, and I will cherish it forever. It's all I have left of my family besides my memories and the star shaped charm that I have sitting on my dresser in my room at the Saturdays' house.

"Thank you, Ms. Albright."

"You can call me Indigne, Lily."

"Thank you, Indigne."

We drop Indigne off close to where she lives and head back to Seward. It's dark when we arrive, not that that unusual. Everyone says goodnight and goes their separate ways. I shower and head to bed. I really need the sleep to try and process the past few days' events. However, I don't sleep. I'm war with myself. I've lost my family and my powers, but I have the Saturdays. So why do I feel so worthless? Why do I feel like someone took away my ability to feel positive things again? Why do I feel like I just don't belong here anymore? I can't give the Saturdays anything, but they don't need anything from me.

I eventually fall asleep, but it is a restless sleep. In that sleep, I dream of Mom and Dad. They are happy and together. It is the first time I have ever seen them together since I was a small child. It makes me happy to see my parents so happy, but a melancholy fills me. I will never see that again as long as I live. I will never see my parents so elated to be with each other. All I will have to remember their relationship by are the memories from when I was a little girl. That hardly seems fair at all. Zak will get to watch his parents be happily married, but I won't get that. My parents are dead, and I can never be a true Saturday. It's not like with Doyle, where they accepted him almost right off the bat. I get the feeling that I am somehow an extra mouth to feed, despite the fact that no one has ever told me this.

I thought dreams were supposed to be a way to escape the reality of the world, not make it worse. For a while after I first arrived at WeirdWorld, I remember I often tried to escape the reality of the situation through dreams. I cherished sleep so much because it was the only time when I wasn't who and where I was. There was a separation between dreams and reality. Now, I have no such separation. Reality has since leaked its way into my dreams until finally I dream only of reality.

Jolting awake, I realize that my face is wet and that my eyes sting. I make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower. The water is scorching hot, but I like it. I stand under the water and let it burn me. Maybe, just maybe, it'll burn me away completely.

* * *

That's the end of Chapter 25. I hope you all enjoyed it, and I will have Chapter 26 up soon. Thank you all so much for reading! Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. I love you all so much!


	26. Remember Your Promise

Hey, Butterflies! I'm back with Chapter 26! I really cannot believe that only the epilogue remains after this chapter. I've enjoyed writing this story, and it's been extremely cathartic for me. And I appreciate all of you for taking the time to read my story and follow these characters in their journeys. Here's Chapter 26: Remember Your Promise

Disclaimer: _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

* * *

I wake up to Drew and Komodo sitting on my bed. _Zut_ , my eye isn't covered. Drew seems to notice but says nothing about it. Instead she says that I need to get dressed because we have to go somewhere. I unwillingly roll out of bed and groggily make my way over to my closet. I grab the first long sleeve shirt and pants I find before I step into the bathroom and get dressed and ready for the day. Once I finish, I head to the living room to meet the others. We hurry out the door to the airship, but nobody tells me where we're going. Therefore, I slip into my room on the airship and go back to sleep.

Komodo wakes me up when we land. It's sunny, so we either went south or it's the afternoon. I look at my clock, which automatically adjusts to the local time. It's around 1:30 in the afternoon. I press a button to see where we are, and the word Atlanta appears on the screen. Why the heck are we in Atlanta again? Is Indigne alright? I hope so. She is expecting a baby after all. I run a brush through my hair to make it settle down a little before I join the others. Drew says Indigne called her saying that she went into labor and wanted us to be there. So that's why we're here: because Indigne went into labor. Part of me dies a little. Indigne gets to have her baby and raise her family, but Mom didn't. She lost her husband and the one thing she had to remind her of him along with her life. It's just not fair! Why did Mom die?! I fight to keep from crying. This is supposed to be a happy time for Indigne. So why do I feel so sad and angry?

When we arrive at the hospital, Indigne is already in a room and a hospital gown. She smiles when she sees us; we say hello, but I can tell that Zak and Fisk definitely feel uncomfortable. I try to ignore them. I don't want to deal with them right now. Indigne and Drew start talking, and Indigne reveals that she went into labor extremely early this morning,around 3 or 4 o'clock, and that she had gotten to the hospital not long before we arrived, to which Drew replies that Indigne is probably near the second stage of labor if not already in it. They keep talking, and I sort of stand there awkwardly. Doc and Doyle are discussing how they could upgrade everything in the room to make it better. Meanwhile, Zak, Fisk, and Zon seem like they don't really want to be here. Komodo stands next to me; I really wish that I still had my powers.

At some point, Drew steps with me out to the hallway. I know I'm busted now. She sits down on a bench and motions for me to sit next to her. I am definitely busted now.

"Lily, when were you planning on telling me about your eye?" Drew asks sternly.

"Never," I reply meekly. Drew sighs.

"Why?"

"Because it's embarrassing."

"That you changed your eye color?"

"No, Drew, that I let Dr. Beeman take my powers." Drew's brow furrows. Apparently she didn't know about the connection between my powers and my green eye. I explain what happened as best as I can, although I end of tearing up at one point, and Drew listens carefully. "It's my fault, Drew. If I hadn't been so stupid, none of this would have happened."

"Don't say that, Lily," Drew almost barks. "It's not your fault. You didn't know; none of us knew. I can't say why Arthur wanted your powers, but I can say that it is not your fault. Don't tell yourself that." I nod tearfully. If only she knew that it really is my fault.

The Saturdays and I spend a good portion of the afternoon exploring Atlanta, but at least one of us was always with Indigne. Indigne mentioned many times how grateful she was, and, although I tried to be nice, I still felt resentful that she was getting to have her baby but that Mom didn't. I know it's silly and not even Indigne's fault, but I can't seem to let go. My mom is dead, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. The last time I saw her, she had just revealed that she was pregnant. That night, she just vanished. I didn't get to say goodbye or that I loved her. I kept hoping for these past four months that she'd come back. But that won't happen; that can't happen. Zak gets his mother back, but what do I get? Dead parents and a dead unborn sibling, that's what! I didn't even get to attend the funeral for any of them! Why does this hurt so much? Why does it feel as if someone has ripped my heart out and crushed it? Why do I feel so painfully hollow?

About 10 o'clock, Drew calls Doc and tells him to get us back to the hospital. The seven of us race back to the hospital. When we get there, Drew explains that Indigne is now in the second stage of labor. Zak, Fisk, and Doyle all seem extremely uncomfortable, so Drew asks Doc to take them out to the hall; Zon and Komodo go as well. That leaves Drew and myself in the room with Indigne. The delivery lasts almost two hours. Indigne's baby is born at 11:57 pm. Almost a New Year's baby, almost. I can't believe that it's almost 2011. That feels so weird.

Several minutes after Indigne gave birth, a knock at the door catches all of our attention. I'm shocked to see the person at the door.

"Munya?" I ask in disbelief. He nods.

"Hello, Munya. What brings you here?" Indigne asks.

"I came to apologize." Indigne has a confused expression on her face. "For everything I've ever done and am going to do." Suddenly, Indigne's expression changes to understanding.

"So he is going to . . ." Munya nods. "Drew, Lily, I need to tell you something." We listen intently to Indigne's words. "Argost had a partner in all of his crimes. He and this partner even made arrangements to bring Argost back if Argost were to die while stealing Kur's essence from both Zaks." I gasp, horrified. I know exactly who this partner is, although I don't know his name.

"How do you know all this, Indigne?" Drew asks.

"I had Munya's help." I look at Munya, who nods his head slightly. "Listen to me, Lily. Dr. Beeman stole your powers because he believes he can use those powers to stop Argost should he come back, but Argost won't know that you lost your powers. You could be in danger, so I need for you to promise me that you won't go cryptid hunting until after all this is settled."

"I promise."

"Thank you. And, Lily, always remember your promise." I nod. "Drew, please keep this information secret from your family. This is something they don't need to know about until the time is right." Drew promises to keep it secret.

"Indigne, should we-?" Indigne nods. Munya looks at me."Iris, I have something else to tell you. _Je suis ton oncle. Ici ta mère._ " My blood boils.

"How dare you! You lied to me! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! You hurt me! I can remember my promise to you, but you can't seem to remember your promise to Dad and me!" I storm out of the room and let the door slam behind me. I walk out of the hospital and sit on a bench in the courtyard. The air is cold, and I left my coat inside, but I don't care. I'd rather freeze to death out here than be anywhere near them. I drift off to sleep while still sitting on the bench.


	27. Epilogue

Hey, Butterflies! I bring you the very last chapter of _Remember Your Promise_. It has been a great pleasure to share this story with you all, and I am deeply honored that you all read the story all the way through. Thank you all so much. I love you all so incredibly much. Here's the last chapter, "Epilogue."

Disclaimer; _The Secret Saturdays_ belongs to Jay Stephens and Cartoon Network.

 **Trigger Warning: Self harm mentioned.**

* * *

That New Year's Eve was seven years ago. I am now twenty and in college, studying to be a clinical psychologist. My goal is to be to others what Dr. Cooper was to me. I have some time before I am anywhere near earning a doctorate, but I am in no rush.

After that New Year's Eve, I began putting my life back together. I said goodbye to the Saturdays and moved in with Mom and my little brother Alexi Jonathan, who Mom revealed was actually Dad's son. We live in the house where I grew up, which was nice, although it just didn't feel right without Dad. Mom and I try our hardest to make Dad a part of Alexi's life, but it's hard because he will never know what Dad's laugh sounded like or the way his strong arms would pick me up when I was little. Alexi will never know his father, which breaks my heart, but he looks almost exactly like him. He has Dad's black hair and strong build- or at least he will have Dad's build once he hits puberty and if he decides to start working out. Alexi has Mom's brown eyes, and his accent is the most interesting one I've ever heard. It's a combination of Russian, English, and American. I think it's cute, but he gets mad when I tell him that.

Munya, or really Uncle Derek, is doing well. He still looks like Munya, for he hasn't been unable to undo the damage Argost did, but he has a job designing prosthetics, and he seems to love that. His designs are really cool, despite not quite looking realistic, but they are able to function like the natural body part. However, Uncle Derek does struggle with accepting what happened to his fiancée, Jordan Beeman, all those years ago. He still thinks about her and misses her terribly.

And Mom and Uncle Derek were right about Argost coming back. When I was sixteen, I got a call from Drew saying that they found Argost. Uncle Derek had pretended to be Argost's loyal servant long enough to trap him. Although the Saturdays were unable to stop Argost, I heard that Dr. Beeman was, so I am grateful that Dr. Beeman was the one with my powers who had to face him instead of myself.

I've fallen out of personal contact with the Saturdays and their friends, but Mom still calls them from time to time. They started their own cryptozoology organization, and they seems happy with that. Mom gave up on the Secret Scientists and became a high school physics teacher at the local high school.

And as for me, I've gotten better. I have since stopped cutting, although I have times when I relapse and scratch myself pretty badly. My scars are fading slowly, but not all of them. But I am no longer ashamed of them; they show that I survived those hard times. And I wouldn't change that for the world.

At the end of the day, all the promises we've ever made, broken, forgotten, remembered, or kept have shaped who we are and the world around us. And that's something I'll remember.


End file.
